Spring on a Heady Hangover Sunday

As I trudged drunkily past the scintillating scents of spring,the pastel colored hyacinths in crooked lines of swerving forward . And traipsed trippily right past the pretty in merry colors tulip patches. Missing many opportunities to jump up in hyper happy spirits celebrating the white lacy branches of flowering trees flirting in the wayward wind. In addition to being delirious and oblivious to the daffy daffodils strutting their yellow blooms and stuff. And instead spending part of a perfectly pretty sunday afternoon time puking my excess adderall and alcohol imbibing up in the bathroom. It was at that very long string of sunday afternoon seconds that I just knew. I just new that at the end of the day or night it was all worth it.

Yeah as sappy as that sounds.
And who are you to judge what sort of sappy happy happenstance, I choose to flavor my syrupy life of maple sugar moments with.

This piece of random poetry has been brought to you in part by the "Hangover Foundation for Getting Over". And is dedicated to the undulating waves of innate nausea that threatened to knock me out right on top of those pretty tulip patches /clay pots of hyacinths and daffodils/and right under those lacy white cherry tree blossoms.

Also, G-d, I know ure pulling the strings, will you ever stop just letting go in the middle of nowhere. I dont need to be reminded of how much a pre-programmed puppet named predestination, I really am. Even when I pretend I dont.

Cheers/Hugs and Happy Spring Imbibing and embracing. There is nothing like the pure and unadulterated comfort of a long embrace.
Sooo comforting under the comforters.

Jadedism Judaism and Jade Lounging

My artfully tart and tartfully artsy blackberry retorting buddy spotted this depressingly impressive cornerstone of Jadedism on a random NYC street corner, One fine work day when we were soul deep in repentence/religion related conversationing. And then artfully proceeded to photograph this jaggedly spent Jade Lounge all decked out in splintered panels and withered wood in varying hues of musty maple/rusty rail and bitterly brown.(redundant usage of said picture for reiteration purposes only) Its radiating the kind of jadedism, I hope I never confront alone in a dark myopic moment, even if I have to.

Dancing with Determinism/Prancing with Predestination/ Flirting with Fatalism and Free Will

So Aside from issues like is there a G-d and how many ..... and the endless debates on mind over matter -dualism/monism/materialism/determinism/causality/free will/mental force/volition/meditation/neuroplasticity/medication/psychotherapy........Neuroscientific discoveries in general keep promoting new debates /questions and disconcerting contradictions and cloudy conclusions .

Between the ancient neuroscientific discoveries that are constantly being fine tuned /perfected and new ones constantly discovered , one can basically tweak the parts of the brain directly related to fear/logic/ reasoning/ free will/ choice/impulse /pain and so many other parts of personality.

So fiddling around with the prefrontal cortex and free will /will and related activities, ok according to fatalism would probally have no effect on end result. According to determinism the fiddling would probally just be part of that complex causality theory. According to predestination and Judaism specifically pirkei avot - "everything is predestined but freedom of will is given".
So is tweaking the chemical levels that would affect free will physically on a prefrontal cortex or other brain part level is that considered an extension of general free will or overstepping those nebulous spiritual boundaries into flirting with fate and messing with mysticism territory.

Even basic elementary concepts like our purpose in life is to avoid sin and do acts of kindness and that whole free will versus preprogrammed concept doesnt make much sense if we can tweak our brains to react accordingly.Whether through mental force/meditation/ medication or surgery.
If an individual with an overactive sex drive and too many partners takes a personality dulling dose of stimulants to eliminate excess sexual neediness is there credit issued for discipline of which the actual neediness was eliminated?

What about religious discipline and adherence due to chemical fixing/medicating. Why would credit be given if there is no challenge involved.
Are preprogrammed robots rewarded for their fine sense of cognitive choice and decisions.How about robots that are fixed ?

Lets not forget about those SSRI's and stimulants that really mess with personality. Personality pruning is not as simple as it presents.

At what point does free will mess with frivolous free for all and flirting with fatalism.

Less than Lucid Elucidations on Spring Sensations

So Spring this year feels like a series of random focused snapshots /sensory disconnect sensations/lucid elucidations/cloudy conclusions/processing errors/tedious tasks/ rusty realizations/ colorful photographs and the occasional fun wordplay neatly scattered, wordlessly in the scrapbook of life.Bound barely with thinning threads of spent personality/ chance/luck and irony. One frayed photograph at a time. Framed cynically in a whimsical shade of sparkle, with the settled glitter and sparkle dust of happenstance gone by. Displayed by default in no particular order.

Brain Taffy/Mending the Mind/Re-Bending The Pliable Perspectives of Dyslexic Reality

I think everyone should take a summer sabbatical from cubicledom and just spend the days roller coaster riding/ sunning/roadtripping/laughing/ photographing (see above pic for ethereal ABC Carpet and Home Autumn window) and finding the color and sparkle in hum drum daily living.

Its actually a necessity for those blessed with second hand brains.

Second hand brains are annoying and sprain easily especially in dim colorless cubicles . They often read objectives/missions statements/ reality/directives/goals/ obligations /change and related activities in dyslexic english with lateral subtexts and nary a linear connotation in sight.

I guess there's lots of good stuff out there if one is in need of some brain tweaking taffy, cortex correcting candy, serotonin levels fixing sugar or some rum for a reality check.

Clinically speaking, there's actually a plethora of magic powders (md approved) for dulling or re-arranging emotional pain in neat, channeled, linear sequential thought processes ,carefully encapsulated in colorful capsules. Other happy r us helpers include those baby blue tablets for tears that are running too often & bubble gum pink tablets for creating one's own personalized hum drum skinny existence out of hyperactive energies running amok .

So you can function all skinny in your new focused hum drum existence.

For the splintered minds and fractured souls , a simple M-tab will melt away the divides and fix the perpetual picture of reality ....constantly photographed in split format.And then u got the Glitter gel caps that help capture the joy of a chemically balanced living, and all sorts of pleasure seeking and pleasing pills for swallowing the bitter pain of raw/ uncensored emotions clogging the arteries of emotional health.

And then there's always the controversial Ecstacy for connection enhancing ,channelling of the energies towards the acute stages of unadulterated ecstacy.Fabricating fickle moments of euphoria has never been so easy.

The problem with second hand brains though is that at best they are decidedly predictably unpredictable .And have everything to do with the ever increasing disadvantages the end user is generally challenged with from core visual and emotional processing errors to endless sources of rampant energy running amok.

Basically its like giving Jittery Jade a thoroughly researched personlized Ritalin or Adderall dose to follow daily and giving Hyperactive Crystal a hodge podge of natural stimulants like Focus Factor/Caffeine/Red Bull/diet pills to fabricate some focus with. Jittery Jade will probally have a better life mission statement worked out.Hyper Crystal will think about her mission statement every now and then .... but will probally spend most of her life trying to get her energy channeled properly using second hand OTC assistance.

Is the brain that cant reckon good, responsible for the day of reckoning or does G-d accept the recalls.

Prancing High Horses and Holy Horse Shit

So I recently received this small manila envelope from an anonymous sender.
Folded neatly inside was a sanctimoniously laced apology/forgiveness seeking message sprinkled liberally with bullshit/ biblical quotings & preachy directives ,typed tackily on fake floral stationary with the occasional big word .
Oh and a Chofetz Chaim lecture neatly tucked in.
Apparently, some individuals aka "caring classmate" from my religious high school have decided to do a
a mass appology/seek forgiveness mailing with a light unto the nation theme .
My thoughts :

A) Remove my name from your sanctimonious mailing list immediately.
1)You guys really dont change - contrary to your personal beliefs ,the world does not revolve around you and your holy projects and light unto the nation themes , please get off your religious high horses and clean up your own holy horse shit. I personally have long deleted any files associated with that despicable poor excuse for a high school, as such your names are not recognized in my current database of people I associate with/think about or forgive.
2) Typing tackily on fake floral stationary is not ok for this sort of mass mailing apology/forgiveness seeking project
3) Why are you sending me chofetz chaim lectures- clearly you should be listening to them yourself.
4) You guys still make me puke with your everpresent sanctimonious bullshit even after quite a few long years.

My suggestion to you and your droopy friends in sad states, stop suggesting what others should be doing, reading, listening to, who they should be forgiving and what they should be thinking about.
Start with yourselves, the first step is awareness - awareness that you are absolutley NOT G-ds gift to judaism. Even if you know way more navi than me and dress like nuns with no sense of fashion. Then start reciting the Iggeres Haramban every day and actually listen to
the message.
Oh and dont send me stuff ,ever. I clearly have no use for your personal updates or the preachy directives prancing out of your pious projects.To be precise, they are puke inducing. Just so you know.

Winterberry Wonder

Before I start giving the utterly ethereal /flirty/flowering spring trees my undivided attention, I think those pretty cherry red winterberry trees deserve some color recognition.
I think they should definitely be given some sort of best use of color award for persistently promoting color and cheer in the dreariest/ bleakest and bitterest of situations.

Think Pink

I actually encountered this ethereal think pink flowering tree one warm Saturday back in January at Riverside Park .

Dont Fall In

Yeah , those slushy NYC street corners are quite conniving with their "pretend surfaceyness" but they will so "deep slush" you, when you least expect it.
Over and over again actually, until you learn to sidestep the corners and walk in circuitious routes avoiding all potential deep slush pit corners.

Tedious Tuesday's To Do List

Tuesday's Tasks:

Pop Adderall.

Recite the Iggeres Haramban letter and spend 10 minutes of precious morning commute time communicating lofty thoughts and caring altruistic prayers to

G-d.

(In the faithful hopes of ensuring successful completion of today's cubicle curriculum schedule.)If you pray for others the altruistic energies boomerang right back supposedly, though this should not be the intial intention probally but its always good to practice altruism.

Arrive ten minutes early to work to override consistent bad habit of latecomings.

Work hard, stay focused all day.Pop Adderall often. There's nothing like feel good focus helper.

Those candy boxes of days gone by just never heard of Adderall ."Dope" is not everything.

Though with the Adderall, sometimes I feel like my personality is on vacation. I'm not sure whats more important, sitting focused and working hard or having a personality.It would be lovely to have both .I guess G-d wasnt in a good mood that day when he was putting my brain togethor

Tan tenaciously during all 30 minutes of lunch time.Arrive (outside on next street with public outdoor furniture) early , for best view of snatches of sun between tall buildings.

Sun-dream of winning many different jewelry design awards simultaneously.

With a heavily concerted focus on that best use of color and design category.

Arrange weekend hyper-happy sparkle and glitter party for nieces.

Purchase seasons pass to Six Flags.

Pop more Adderall.

Plan a garden

Contemplate going Greyhound or cruising on the Crescent

Decide that responsiblity comes first as does committment and all related fun words not related to runaway.

And that should probally be it for another day in the life of a "Groundhog Day"

Tea for Tuesday anyone ?

Pondering at Peculiar Pub

Peculiar Pub is the perfect place to ponder perplexing stuff with friends.
I've sorted out lots of complicated stuff over these tables.
I've also done alot of listening to others here.
There's something about alcohol that makes listening a whole lot easier.
"Time really does fly when ure havin rum"
For the rest of the time though there's Adderall.
Life short though, and times a wastin.
The question is what the fuck should I really be doin with the time.
Its soooo hard getting up every morning and just goin for another Groundhog day. Hopping on to a Greyhound at Port Authority is always tempting.
As is boarding the Crescent to New Orleans at Penn Station.
Or even that Vermont Train.- I should really live for the moment - the snow is melting .......
I keep forgetting why I need to be working so hard and for what and how long, how many when/ where and how often.
I dislike mornings, any morning.
Especially Moody Monday Mornings though.
And then you got the whole Tedious Tuesday ahead of you, YaY.
Wimpy Wednesday is right around the corner all mediocre and neither here nor there really just spacing out in middle of the week.
Thirsty Thursday is the day you should be looking forward to though.
And Sunny Saturdays at the shore.

The Joys of Rejoicing

Random Stuff To Rejoice About, In No Particular Order :

Chandelier touring at ABC Carpet and Home (see above pic).

My Fixed Blackberry.
Bon Jovi’s new song.
My Nieces and Nephews .
Grays Anatomy.
Adderall .
Spring .
Flowers
Flowering Trees .

Sharon Begley's new book .
My Comprehensive Shotglass Collection .
The plethora of men that want to sleep with me.
The fun fact that I’m still at the same cubicle and it’s been a month!

I LOVE MY JOB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amusement parks are opening their pearly gates of fun in less than a month!
Aimlessness.
Directionless.
Persons of the unadulterated altruism persuasion, that dispense focus and care.

The magic charm of the Iggeres Haramban letter.

And then there is the rustic everyday reality that just overrides stuff, alot of stuff by rusty default. The kind of rustic reality that you just cant build charming cottages with quaint front porch perspectives out of. Its more like those bitterly abandoned sheds with barely an ounce of self respecting paint left..... just spacing out at the edge of large properties not likely to be influenced by optimistic gardens and flowers. Maybe a windowsill garden though and a charming crystal chandelier or six .

When life hands you a glass ..........

When life hands you a glass, go for the flower gazing in a glass vase motif.

It generally works better than alcohol and related liquids (even lemonade) in providing/ perpetuating persistent optimsim and other fundamentals of faith.

Especially in the morning.

Go ahead, make Pollyana proud- she's definitely smiling smugly in Pollyana heaven.

Fixing the Focus/Crocuses and the Crux of the matter

Life is mostly all about the focus.Experiencing the cold harsh winter in all its fickle finery , faithfully until the cows come home/the snow/hail stops sleeting and the pretty in flirty purple crocuses come out to play.I wish I knew how to fix the focus though.

Steel Structure Systems/Tulips and Lips

So today I'd like to thank G-d for spring , flowers , bulbs ,zinnias, roses,tulips, cosmos, petunias, color /flirty flowering trees and related floral activity . (See last years tulips in NYC pic above for imagery purposes only).(Always live in the past..... it helps perpetuate the fun in dysfunctional...& under a whole new light).
There definitely is nothing like Spring, for the perfect distraction.A whole new flowering slate of color/optimism and all things Pollyana oriented.
Oh , And thank G-d for steel structure systems that keeps things in check when the colorful go hyper and start coloring everything an iridescent shade of disarray.
Sometimes we dont know why we have steel bars hampering our growth and painting everything a rigid shade of metallic grey.
Other times we dont know either.
I guess thats why we have the lips..... for verbal accolading , gracious gratituding ,faithful(less) thanking and related activities.

Like thanking G-d for the good, the bad, and the ambiguous.

Back to last years tulips though ....are they doing a way better growth thing with the rigid steel check system here in NYC ?
Would they be better off in a runaway field in some rural part of Holland or would they just end up in a Ruby Red ABC Carpet & Home vase spacing out on a funky pink glass desk.
Or are they merrily making the most of their pretty little short tulip lives stifled and blooming in neat rows of strict color and artful rigidness.

I've always wondered what the best way is to grow as a tulip / zinnia /cosmo or any flower. Is the flower supposed to conform to the garden or do you create the garden to conform to the flower.What about wildflowers are they supposed to change gardens and scenery every 2-3 weeks.

Did I mention I love love love love love love love flowers .

Quintessential Quixote Quoting

"He jumped up on his horse and rode off in all directions" Don Quixote .
I love this quote, mostly cuz its basically my soul's slogan.
Its definitely the default mission statement, pre-programmed on my neuronal circuitry system's hard drive. The quintessential question though still remains , what would be considered a greater inherent life accomplishment: acquiring many different quaint cubicle positions in a short amount of space and time, or occupying one cubicle for a long stretch of space and time. Is it the diversity and the knowledge acquired in the different fabric/plexicrap paneled cubicles and the impressive talent used to attain those flexible panels of days gone by, or the consistency and ability to sit in one cubicle and focus on one individual companys keyboard and mission statement until the end of time and space and or other natural distractions like power outages/coming of the kids and arrival of a husband or two .

I guess the first question is : what are you using to build your cubicle curriculum ? Is it a flexible panel system the "Rolling Wall" or something more permanent like a complicated Tayco built in panel system .
Second question is what color is your cubicle : Fading Fabric/Focused Crystal Clear Plexiglass/Colorful disarray of everywhere/everything/mission statements/rules and art.
Third: What sort of cubicle curriculum ethic are you modeling your career after : A Runaway Cubicle Quitter/Cubicle Sitter/Cubicle Coordinater/Cubicle Fixer/Cubicle Lover/Cubicle Acquirer/Cubicle Owner/Cubicle Decorater/Cubicle Creater.
Or Union Square Booth Lady.

Merry Christmas and Merry Morning

NYC is definitely my favorite playground . How can you not be merry in the morning passing all this color and art . Boredom and hum drum are scarce. Iridescent color /flirty fun /thrills and acute excitement are running rampant throughout the different parts of NYC's diverse playground areas.Every Ave is a different mood.Every park has its own theme. The fusion of everywhere /everything/ colorful glitter /intellectual pursuits/the sparkledust of exciting everyday happenstance and a plethora of opportunities and lewd comments and suggestions, is what makes NYC the most awesome place on earth.

What Color is Your Tinsel Tree or Outlook

If ure stuck and cant decide what metallic shade of tinsel best represents your iridescent essence just go with all the colors. Be the best everywhere person you can possibly be . Travel hard and often down every right path in unison or in sequence . Marry often . Choice/decision/yes or no / pink or black / gemologist or pharmacist/ brooklyn or manhattan/ jewelry designer or writer/pharmacology or talkology/argumentive/perceptive/ Pollyana/Pippi Longstocking /Peter Pan/ Sponge Bob Square Pants/ South Park/ The Care Bears ....religious or athiest/ dog runner or egg donor/call girl or waitress/ Bar owner or Bar decorator /chabad or aish or kinky jews/ Zionist or Nomadist/ Hippy or Hip Hop. Why is every choice negating by default the rest of the options. . Why would anyone work for their cake or tinsel if they cant eat it or sparkle too.It doest have to be that way.
So the next time your faced with way too many right choices and right paths , just choose Everything/ all choices/ all paths. Stuff will probally stay exciting for way longer , yeah its that simple really.

Tuesday in a Tizzy

So accomplishments for Tuesday include but R not limited to the following :
1) While waiting for a tardy friend to show up , I think I was mistaken for a prostitute by a religious looking individual. I guess my bitchy comebacks assured him I was not interested in flirting with him, his furry looking hat and not that hungry for paid love either. I attract the most interesting sexual energy sometimes.
2) I got good pictures of holiday merriment and funky decor in broad daylight.
3) I found my favorite shade of coral and red mix sweatshirt on sale at the Gap.
4) My camera has this awesome setting for christmas lights .
5) I almost have a new cubicle of the week .
6) I hope I can convince them to include crystal colored chandeliers in their general product ,manufacturing /importing and promoting. Maybe I can get them to hang one over my new cubicle .

Jaded's Ladder

When life gives you a unstable plywood oriented ladder laminated with a thin veneer of musty maple for climbing, with less than sturdy rungs and rusty camlock screw cores for focus, just continue collecting sparkledust specks of lovingkindness/ glitter outlooks of goodness /& iridescent bubbles and bulbs.You may not be goin up in the rungs of life, but at least you have the glitter of goodness to distract and detract from just how far sideways your not soaring. Just be certain the tin cans of caring ure trusting with all your glitter and sparkle bubbles and belief bulbs of sudsy aspirations ,dont have no rusty outlooks and tinily understand how u want to spread the light of iridescent insights in colorful presentations of depth/ function /focus and purpose. Then it doest really matter if your adhering to the proverbial linear upward ladder rung trailways .Sometimes lateral sidetracking can also pave the way towards total unadulterated altruism / runaway everwhere lovingkindness and hyper happiness .

Redecorating The Blue and White Tinsel of Timeless Traditions

So I just need to emotionally color the Blue and White Tinsel of Timeless Traditions a hazy shade of "Iridescent Why" or maybe "Winter Green Wonder" , like the pretty wreaths in Madison Square Park artfully decorated with eloquent wispy shades of ambiguous silver bows of merriment. Also, I just dont get Hannuka mostly. And all that lets be happy and celebrate, how exactly is one suppose to lets be happy and celebrate.That is just a wee bit difficult, all things considering and contemplating. I dont get alot of things, but Hannuka is just annoying in general and it tends to get increasingly so, every time I get unsolicited related holiday wishes. I DONT DO HANNUKAH PERIOD. As such, I find it exceedingly difficult bordering on acutely painful to pretend to rejoice about concepts I dont understand. Nor do I need any related wishes /hopes /dreams and I certaintly dont need any invites to events associated with the oily /esoteric concepts and themes. So please refrain from the hannukah related friendly overtures /group hugs /invites and loving the light and embracing the oily lectures. I would sincerely suggest you allocate these well meaning overtures and tendencies to those a little more hannukah friendly and needy. I for one, am perfectly content with the more mainstream merry making /mostly universal lights theme- without any laws , sparkly and colorful tinsel oriented decorations and the awesome , multicolored ethereal projects of iridescent color. The epitome of all lighthouse oriented activities, the awesome holiday decorated houses and outdoor property parts.

Have a Merry Morning and Month

Stringin along on the Strands of Time

I thought this was quite the lovely coral display on lower Broadway in the beads of plenty and cheap perfume district.The only question is what made those pretty strung along lights go dim among the pretty coral strands.Or were they just not in the mood of sparkling anymore especially during the day when there is all that conflicting messages of saw the light or redefining of saw the light sunlight already out there. So basically there's usually a plethora of figuretive lighthouses all with their own versions of beckoning/blinding light and enchanting ideologies and promises of safe shores and acute connection. Then you've got a plethora of Lighthouse nay-keepers redefining the lighthouses in question and pointing out all the inconsistencies / conflicting ideologies /general flawed theories /mystical myopic oriented myths and falsehoods/fairytales eagerly absorbed by those of the Pollyana Persuasion who are only too happy to be strung along on the strands of brightly colored myopic myth and the blue and white tinsel of timeless traditions.

When Life insists on the Fickle Limp Foliage ......

So yeah , when life insists on the limp/ fickle /lukewarm/ green foliage ,place yourself or the foliage in winter white earthenware and wrap it all up with a pretty red merry bow for pure holiday cheer promoting.It usually works even on cold rocky pavement.
Whats not to be merry about.G-d Loves You in case your having trouble seeing that amidst the clouds/ sleet / hail storms and other showerings of love. Its just soooo obvious ,cuz like if I would be responsible committed to all sorts of commitees and commitments and sincerely serious and know right from wrong, (of which I really obviously have no excuse not to be knowing after all that expensive tuition oriented private schooling), then I wouldnt be so lazy/ambiguous/lost in the shuffle/hazy shade of haziness about stuff and choices and direction and everything would be as obvious as Ruby the Beautiful Red Bow ,beckoning the garden hoe to continue cultivating the limp /fickle greenery instead of letting everyone including herself trample all over the four leaf clovers that are supposedly rampant among the crab grass and ferny looking things.Just be merry for G-ds sake and pretend you know why ure supposed to be making pretty/ colorful /flourishing gardens out of limp fickle winter foliage.

Sparkle Dust Overdose / Vexing Verbosity Ventings

Soooo can't get enough of the sparkle dust and glitter happenstancings. I think I qualify for the most cubicles occupied in a given square foot of time.Its not the actual attaining of the coveted positions of Cubicle Wanderingdom, its maintaining them. The winds of perpetual boredom and the general existence of vexing verbosity concerns ... yeah its that kind of stuff that mostly paints the whole cubicle picture in a hazy shade of runaway red.Will I ever stop running from boring cubicles and related happenstancings. I guess I need to harness the art of embracing boredom .

I should at least get an award for the quite impressive array of cubicle curriculums i've managed to start but not finish. Finishing stuff is overrated.Why finish what you started when you can start a whole new something.

How will your Glass Ball Frost & Fix the Future

Glass is the perfect example of using material for choice and free will options.

The functional rigid folks focus on things like windows /coffee tables and conference tables. The more creative free spirits create paper weights and whimsicle icicles and other ornaments for happy hour. The fickle and insecure create flimsy glass outlooks & hypersensitive perspectives that usually shatter upon harsh contact, or even less than harsh abrupt contact. The shards that are subsequently created, make pretty shattered glass vases for all of life's thorn and branch bouquets. I guess its time to focus on how to make functional conference tables and longlasting cubicles out of shattered shards of colored hypersenstive glass.

Floating Sparkle Dust Evergreen Tree

So basically, everyone gets a preprogrammed version of choice/free will and related energies to decide how they will be functioning on a deeper christmas lights level. Some are happiest strung rigidly in neat circuitious circles around a frostbitten/icy cold evergreen tree firmly planted in the outdoor mud /others are happier gently laced in wayward meandering free form patterns around a pink tinsel tree from Urban Outfitters/and still others are happiest in mid air not attached to anything particular /whimsical and flirting with the windchimes on cute little porchtops .Functioning as perfect/ sparkling whimsicle icicles .
Or if your really lucky with the glitter connections, you can get yourself draped around the evergreen tree doing neverending circles of circuitious sparkledust slow dancing, right in the center of Macy's Beauty window on Broadway in NYC.

More Merry Christmas Messaging

I'm mostly in love with the glitter sparkle dust ornaments in sparkly/ swirly shades of jewel tone colors .

Macy's Merry Christmas Messagings

I got sidetracked today at the Macy's windows.Oh my G-d , the iridescent sparkle dust and profusion of color was quite the impressive glitter sparkle color statement. Macy's holiday message mediums always rock. Especially July Fourth and Christmas.

Achieving Alcohol Flavored Equilibrium

Equilibrium is the basic focus of any activity, from the ever present perpetual quest for connection and purpose to the colorful alcoholic's quest for flavored alcohol and the perfect mix. How exactly is one supposed to fabricate this often elusive concept. Is it color coordinating the alcohol in varying shades and hues of lemon yellow and tangerine melon quartz colored whiskeys and mixers. And then when ure done just adding a prefab selected ruby red cherry / wedge of kelly green lime and some crystal clear cubes of ice. Is this how everything is just all balanced and perfectly color coordinated according to the laws of bartending. Will this always achieve the same results of alcohol flavored equilibrium. Do the flavored effects of lime /cherry and cube ever stop working .

Wispy Petals of Functional Floral Wisdom

Floral Lessons For Daily Functioning : This perfect , winter white bloom of wispy petals & flirty /lacy perfection seems to be conveying quite the profound message of floral functionalism and petal continuity.A floral fact thats as crystal clear as the sky blue topaz vase its safely ensconced in .Mostly, florally speaking one can be purely whimsical/lacey /wispy/fluttery and flirty, just make sure at the end of the day there is an actual functional bloom or bud in the picture /on a stem and connected to some sort of nourishment and energy source .And not just some random wispy petals floating on the table and ground , reminsicing about the perfect bloom and bud days gone by.

Seeing the bloom or bud for the petals should be a given petal's number one priority.Petals are fickle and should not be the main focus for floral recognition and preserving for posterity purposes.The actual functional bud or bloom should be the main focus. Its easier to stay perfectly preserved in a rigid/ boring /strict neat rose bud outlook and narrow glass vase or even frozen in icy cold weather. Its way harder though to stay perfectly preserved in a flirty /whimsical outlook of lacey petals and flirting blossoms.The fickle petals start falling in different directions. And losing sight of the blossom/bud slowly becomes reality.Until all thats left is 3 or 4 fading petals on a thorny branch , too few to function as a blossom and too old and spent to function as a neat perfectly poised bud .
The question is how should petals that are too few for blossom living and too spent for bud functioning how are they supposed to fabricate function/ purpose and connection. Why are these petals working so hard trying to connect to a root source that cannot help them become perfect blossoms or buds.A root source that doesnt even consider them part of their perfect gardens or worthy of drying for wreath purposes.

Why spend all that effort tryin to belong to a root source and muddy soil that is not conducive to integrating and promoting the growth of flawed blossoms/buds and spent blooms situations. Other than decorative floral accents for festive occasions and ceremonies involving petal scattering, among other user friendly options ......what sort of purpose do these petals have in their floral life among functional flora and foliage. Where should they really be looking for the not your ordinary/ less than functional/ colorful &creative petal connections. Or are they just destined to function as blossom wannabe's/ spent buds or colorful scattered wild petals spreading their petals on meandering paths in various states /cities and cubicles along the roadtrip of life.

Cloudy Sunsets & December Rose Buds

There is definitely something sooo magical and ethereal about a perfectly pink rose bud blooming under a cloudy December sunset in New York. It singlehandedly redefines the colorless sunset ,coloring the cloudy black and white Friday evening a pretty shade of think pink.

Disconcerting Starry Concern of the Decade

After sunset , amid the perfect holiday season, sparkling and twinkling with my favorite color concept in the world - (The endless array of decorative multi-colored christmas lights - creating the perfect fusion of sparkle twinkle color and happy), is a not so minor holiday merry mood damper & glitter/ shimmer dimmer. The current disconcerting starry concern of the decade, is contemplating the sort of stars that were applauding or booing my arrival into this almost wonderful world. These were definitely not your run of the mill not so very lucky stars . They were in fact, most likely stars of pure & unadulterated unlucky starry descent. The kind of stars that facilitate in constant/consistent happenstancings involving the distinctly disconcerting "never missing an opportunity to miss an opportunity" slogan attributed to a certain political character and other related not so glittery and sparkly happy happenstancings.
The question is are these stars fixable. Is there some way of medicating their starry negative traits and unlucky energies into glittery positive traits and sparkle dust lucky four leaf clover related energies.
Or is a dark inky sky, a shade darker than the darkest onyx & scattered with unlucky stars/rough black diamond rocks that dont twinkle or sparkle /& adorned w/ equally unlucky starry outlooks , is this the not so fabulous or even fadingly funky foreseeable future I should be looking forward to.

A rose among the bare branches

Ever try keeping your spent bitter blooms / bleary eyed petals/sincerely yet surely disintegrating soul/icy cold core ....... unruffled & perfectly poised among the thorns? Personally I think promoting the abscense or discipline of promiscuity yet constantly embracing/connecting/& maintaining a fun/ perfectly floral wildflower outlook among bare branches is a way more praisworthy act of floral discipline and self preservation for future floral generations, than the proverbial embracing /learning to live with the thorns of thursdays and alot of other days .
The sort of everywhere outlook those of wildflower descent tend to express in wayward dances of eloquence and "bloom where your planted" and everywhere in between profusion. I guess bare branches and thorns both have their cons , but albeit being pretty much clear as day and a certain emporer's new clothes kind of cons, its still sort of bordering on unadulterated ambiguity in terms of black white and shades of sky blue sapphire.
Anyway on a brighter note ,this flirty floral/lack of foliage contrast, is a perfect fusion of fickle winter branches and soothing summer rose bloomings in late November. And definitely worthy of the petulant petal for perpetual perceiving and innovative juxtapositioning in late November award. Its smarter to thrive among bare branches as opposed to surviving among the thorns.
Thorns and Hurt are deceitful in nature and consistently cumulative . Bare and Harsh are real and easier to comprehend and get used to .

Unadulterated Altruism

Why is "unadulterated" and "altruism" quite the difficult combination to find in a given sequential emotional thought process equation nowadays.
Why are moldy alterior motives running rampant among the fields of altruistic flowers in addition to being overshadowed by the weeds of other forms of neediness like constant sucking up to larger than life beings or even more annoying the plethora of weedy people pleasing junkies ,getting high on consistent recognition and the constant craving for praise /public propping & any brand of acknowledgement available.
Why are alterior motives,and distinctly rotten cores the inherent basis of so many acts and orgs of altruism, or do I just keep bumping into the wrong crowds .
Alterior motives is soooo the pure and unadulterated ruin any good the associated altruism would generate.It just paints everything a selfish/self centric shade of egotistical green.
Insecure is also quite the annoying trait. And definitely distinctly related to the new and improved increase of quite a number of less than bright and acutely annoying individuals and related happenstancings.
Sucking up to others will not fix insecurities though.Neither will pretend concern or other pretend/ congenial related acts of goodness done exclusively for surfacey /cosmetic purposes only. Or to distract from a rotten/selfish/phishing for acknowledgement/honor/money/fame/other fun desires and neediness concerns core.
It just further confuses those that think they have found real meaning / pure depth and someone/thing to emulate .
All that sucking up to others cannot be a good thing in the long run.
Real/Truth/Pure/Purpose and Sucking Up/Alterior Motives/Self Centric oriented ..... cannot coexist in the same sequential emotional thought process.
Is unadulterated altruism, goin the way of lofty esoteric traits of the biblical era. And relegated to random /dusty cobweb laced folders , filed away neatly in the musty mindsets of mature individuals that are way too tired to pretend anymore. With the occasional posthumous honorable mention in Absolute Peach Vodka for the mystical myth loving soul stories book , served right after ure done reading chicken soup for the looking for direction soul .........

Crackberry Concepts/ Blackberry Brandy

I soooo cant imagine life without a blackberry. Its currently my most beloved material possession. (my other favorite material possession being my new canon power shot elph sd900 received just in time for the christmas lights and related sparkly happenstancing ) G-d is so good to me every decade or so .

The blackberry is my mobile /versatile/ all encompassing secure know it all (that doesnt ever feel the need to assure me of its know it all status which would ruin so many things ) ........ my slim basic life structure. AnyOne I want to remember/connect with / forget/ignore /AnyThing I need to do/ say/ remember or forget its all in the blackberry.All my secrets/failings/insecurities shortcomings/Pollyana/Care Bear related aspirations/Alice in Wonderland wonderings/Curious George contemplatings /Peter Pan ponderings & tendencies/Sponge Bob perspectives/Strawberry Shorcake idealogies....... its all in the blackberry . When my blackberry begins to doubt me or itself with numb or freezing tendencies thats when I know pits or seeds are in the foreseeable future . I think though I'm ok for now, being that its just been replaced and is quite the epitome of quick. Now with efficient/ new and improved Edge technology. And I always so did and still do love living on the edge .

Sharon Begley had a brilliant article in the Wall Street Journal in 2002 when I was still acutely poor and drooling about the blackberry . I snipped the article out and tacked it on to my fascinating articles for future reference and pondering tackboard near my bed, in true "create a picture of how you envision you life to be and somehow create " fashion. I eventually lost the article in one of my many souvenirs of happenstancings gone by lucite storage bins ........ but google has always been a great friend/educator & article locator ="http://www.stanford.edu/class/linguist34/Unit_08/blackberry.htm>blackberry branding

Moldy Metaphors: A tribute to a Distinctly Toxic Educator of Years Gone Bye

This sequential thought process and related sidetracks is in honor of Principal H and her Moldy Metaphor for Goodbye and GoodLucking "Different flowers grow in Different soils" which is not quite the best metaphor to express your disinterest in educating the exotic tropical plants or the wayward wildflower student(s) in question...... Just so you know for future reference in case your still a principal somewhere and have some gardening concerns ..........
Hope your muddy soil suits you and may it continue to sully any other moldy metaphor related attempts at gardening students .Those cactus's you've managed to educate are quite the prickly group. Do they do anything else besides breed/prick/sting and breed some more ?
Basically , i've learnt If you find yourself in a figuretive garden comprised of Educators with moldy metaphors and general garden inhabitants consisting of prickly points/ petulant petals/ bleary eyed blossoms /spent brooding blooms/ fickle flowers and Sincerely Snobby Shrubs that are just ruining your growth patterns and blocking the sunlight, its best to move on and find yourself a new patch for basking in the sunlight. And just plant yourself a whole new patch of colorful/meaningful truly friendly flowers.
There is the not so subtle difference between living in "the proverbial rose garden that was never promised" and residing in a lovely unadulterated cactus patch (just dont fall in ,whatever you do ). Or endless stretches of grassy fields boasting boastful yet moldy weeds & allergen related properties, pretending to be smiling sunflowers but at one point or another they show their true dandelion colors .You can still make a wish though ......
Some religious schools dont even get that deep with the promises or the breeding which is ok if only the issue was the lack of "rose garden promise" ...... but sometimes its just busy focusing on the rules concerning "how to garden modestly like Ruth when she went harvesting" As long as youre fully clothed , it doesnt really matter what kind of flowers your goin to act like or cultivate and continue breeding or even marry.
Cactuses breed cactuses they do not have any disciplined / friendly/respectful flora related relatives.Weeds breed more disrespectufl weeds and the occasional disrespectful wildflower, no perfectly manicured rosebushes or well mannered chrysanthemums in sight.
And sometimes in high school , if your petals are not fully clothed, well then you might get served with moldy metaphors like "different flowers grow in different soils " along with a leave and do not return card.You may want to join up with the Naked Cowboy in Times Square since you've already slackened with that neckbone collar covering rule.You can use the tips to purchase your own roses .I would reccomend the David Austin brand.
No,some high schools never did get quite that far with breeding well mannered flowers and shrubbery or promising rose gardens or even just any sort of well mannered flowers. Just make sure your fully clothed and wash your husbands clothes and make him dinner so he can continue learning without being disturbed.Learning the ropes of religion in a prickly cactus patch rampant with dull dandelions /dim two leaf clover weeds and narrow minded crabgrass, makes you forget you ever wanted to be part of the garden of eden concept.
I think certain kiruv orgs and high schools should get together and produce and off broadway musical based on parts of Lynn Anderson's "Rose Garden Song" hyperfocusing on the "I Beg Your Pardon" part .... /Lessons from Pinnochio / The Pitfalls of Pollyana Persuading / Alice in Wonderland/Pippi Longstocking and Sponge Bob Square pants .
Anyway my rhetorical point - I just wish i knew who exactly am I suppposed to be emulating. How should I know where its best to belong.Why would I want to structure myself with religion related activites/Its so hard finding real people to respect ......Just some Adderall induced flashes of unadulterated focus/a perfect jumble of neuronal circuitry connecting /chemical balancing and brainwave action. And subsequent questions like why am I going and where and who exactly are my role models.........The answer might very well be starting a whole new colorful /friendly garden , preferably in far away friendly /exotic locations like Hawaii.
So when the high schools and kiruv orgs are done incorporating "derech eretz kadma latorah" they can move on to stuff "chanoch hanar al pi darcho " and then the skys the limit .....provided it doesnt rain/snow/sleet or hail .

NYC Color Coordinated St Corners -Autumn 2006

Yellow keeps thing Mellow/Rustic Tangerine Creates Quite the Serene Color Scene......
I looooove it when neighborhood tree leave's /wrought iron building accents and subway posts somehow create the perfect fusion of color /functionalism/aesthetics..... and picturesque moments of fickle and oh soooo fleeting ethereal seasonal color St. corner stories.

NYC Color Coordinated St Corners

NYC - Early Spring - 2006 : Focus on Functioning Winter White, Sort of Scattered Yet Cloudlessly Erudite ...........

NYC Color (dis)Coordinated St Corners

NYC - Early Spring - 2006 Bleary Eyed Blissful Blossoms : Always Think (Perfectly) Pink..... Even if theres a bit of rustic tangerine in the picture .

Windows of Wishes & Window Wishing

"Today 5:00 pm" .... Macy's did the unveiling of their legendary holiday windows at 34'th. They have always been quite the holiday window displays.
Window wishing today in the early afternoon hours right before the winter sunset , the windows were mostly covered with promising messages of Harmony/ Beauty/ Joy / Friendship "Today 5:00 pm".

I did get a sneak preview of Joy though.It was quite the window experience.
Holiday decorating and twinkling lights really do warm the bitterly cold weather and outlooks.

Just till January though .

Then it's Valentines Day , theres plenty of love/ pink hearts/ glitter and sparkle for purchasing purposes and receiving opportunities .You may even get lucky like me and get unsolicited hershey chocolate kisses in Times Square.

When reality gets Muddy.....

Just keep planting flowers, until reality is just a hazy shade of concentrated color. It gets tricky come winter/ snow and sleet though. Once the clean slate of pure snow starts melting , your back to square mud and its quite the sinking sort of mud squares. Not the ideal material for mud pies or anything Pollyana related. Just pure and unadulterated mud/slush and deep deep puddles. The kind of puddles that often catch starry eyed /sparkle dust /winter wonderland NYC tourists by deep slush suprise at crowded NYC street corners and intersections.

DONT FALL IN !!!!!!!!!!!

Its not that much fun mostly....

Fall Finale

There is something so final about November weather. Its like here are some warm /rainy days in case you miss summer and are experiencing sunning and tanning withdrawl symptoms. But dont get too comfortable or anything cold /bitter and rainy are all on their merry way down. There just seems to be a few minor sidetracks /technical difficulties & some hurricanes and tornadoes to tend to before they make their way down this way. They should be arriving shortly though , all decked out in winter snowflake finery and plenty of whimsicle icicles to decorate life with. Fickle is another one of November's few attributes as is rain, warm/ lukewarm and bitterly cold depending on the mood of the moment.

Peculier Pub Ponderings & English Lofts

Peculier Pub on Bleeker St , is one of my favorite drinking spots in NYC . Many thanks in full to the one and only Janey for lighting the way towards this particular pub in addition to generally "seeing the laughs for the lofts" when flirting with cute English tourists - not actually residing in looooufts (oh my god I loooove lofts ) but apparently quite full of stories involving lauuuughs . Janey, one day your astute Janique observations /inherent intellectualism/ focused functionalism and perspectives on priorities and marriage stuff will register as valid paths with no error messages. For now they are just filed away under "the ultimate flavored beer over wooden tables creative vocabulary on postcards lessons and related lofty life lessons ".

Peculier Pub Is the perfectly mystic mixture of exotic beer flavors wooden tables/general woodsy decor and heart thawing memories of friendships gone by /renewed and created.Its the perfect place to practice creative ways of elucidating on which letter of the alphabet your referring to, thats F as in Fickle and P as in PMS ....... celebrate milestones /stepping stones/ stumbling blocks and the occasional pitfall.To catch up with old friendships/flirt with tourists from England or just celebrate wrong career choices.There is nothing quite like hovering under wrong assumptions and missed opportunities armed with a Heather Froach Ale or a Woodchuck Draft cider pear flavored ,five friends and an all encompassing resounding multiple toast for holiday cheer consisting of a beer from every state and country .Life is sooooo perfect like that.

Daily Dose of Dismal Disarray

The dismal dose of reality that can medicate any day/task or cubicle curriculum into unadulterated disarray, is the "too dim for bright and too bright for dim" concept all too often running for attention & acknowledgement in a certain jumble of brain waves & circuitry systems.Which seems to be connecting any which way in wayword, circuitious routes & paths, paved/traveled heavily on by meandering energy.And the new & improved neediness now fully ensconced in a coral coated capsule of obnoxiousness, for image preserving purposes.

Wooden Wonderings On Fading To Foam

How integral/ inherent a component is the core/ substance and essence.
Is it ok to just continuously redecorate re-fabricate depending on season and what sort of ladder rung (rusty or platinum or even tungsten steel ) your trying to balance yourself on.
It gets sort of tricky when you spend your whole life fabricating a funky fun or flirty floral fabric outlook only to make the disconcerting discovery that your core essence is just a flimsy piece of spongey foam .Eagerly absorbing and constantly self saturating with all the flirting, flattery and screwy playing dumb in a smooth jazz song concepts and suggestions that are flung along .Thoroughly distracted and secure in the perpetual plastic protection myth and utterly oblivious to the foam thats beginning to question her plastic existence by peeking out with her true colors. I guess its just easier to do a sponge material makeover in a whole new shade of pink coral pleather.

Saturated Scarves and Disconcerting Discoveries

Oh my G-d , will the rain ever stop for just a second or two for some visibility ability. So I believe i'm thoroughly soaked and sincerely saturated ,straight through to the depths of my heart. The far reaching influence of the torrential unrelenting rain drops actually include the replenishing of my empty tear ducts with a cup runneth over sort of attitude of refreshing rainwater for future reference. Quite the comforting thought , as you can never have more than enough tears for future reference.I've never forgotten Forrest Gump's "life is like box of chocolates, you never know what your gonna get" . Which is quite the profound truism for pondering .............
On the way back , today sitting in a thoroughly drenched huddle of wet clothes and equally wet accessories all dripping in unison, I fell asleep on the train from Essex and ended up all the way on 179th in Queens missing my intended destination stop give or take an hour or so . The rain in NYC today was definitely not your average mystically misty light warm rain on the not your average warm November wednesday.
It was a harsh ,bitter I will screw you with my rain drops till your pants and all layers of clothing including scarf are wetter than the east river .It was quite the in your face raindrop display, not the happiest raindrops around either.Apparently their childhood in the clouds was quite the cloudy experience and not exactly located in rainbow valley. And the no pot of gold situation was not quite the sort of reality they were anticipating hence the outburst.
I cant seem to get dry or warm. Its like my heart was just drenched into a permanent state of cold, hard ,bitter raindrops that will not dry no matter how hard I try covering up with a warm Abercrombie sweatshirts or a pretty knitted perfectly pink coral and purple birthday scarf from a friend . For some reason this sort of fabricated fixing is not working anymore. And that is quite the disconcerting discovery of the day among other new constant discoveries and realizations.

Innovative Nightlights for Enlightening

Inspiration, awe , jaded, enlightened, love, enthralled , faith ..... emotions in general are basically a jumble of brain wiring /circuitry systems and related chemicals. If the chemical levels are not goin haywire and all circuits and juices are flowing smoothly its smooth sailing sunday at the balanced shore .

Why are some people so complacent, & OK with flourescent lights and winter white ceilings , the utterly mundane,perfectly happy with hum drum and the ordinary, while others crave crystal chandeliers and perfectly pink coral ceilings ,constant stimulation/on the edge thrills / innovation and will only settle for out of the ordinary.

There is so much in life thats expected, but sort of impossible with the living on the edge brain. Is ritalin and adderall really the answer, is coastin on hum drum highway and getting off on ordinary ave, end results that should be incorporated into life's mission statement ?

How Green will Your Grass Grow

The grass is always greener , when you confine your grass to small circular metal spaces for decorative purposes only . If you dont like local/strict/rigid/look before you step , confined spaces and love the global everywhere approach to stuff, replacing the grass with colorful flowers (in open spaces) is a way better solution than trying to figure out how to keep your grass from getting trampled on and switching colors on you.
Its way easier to be hyper happy and ectatically ecstatic on a consistent basis , if your patch is just a colorful open space of wildflowers running rampant in a "bloom where your planted" and EverywherE in between sort of way.When the going gets muddy, just keep on planting more flowers until the mud is a just a fading memory of smudged drudgery.

Moldy Musings

"Cast thy bread upon the waters, for thou shalt find it after many days "

Just make sure the bread your casting is not fluffy, surfacey moldy and riddled with smiles and holes. Like the kind of bread they sometimes serve at school lunches and classes. Sooner or later , "after many days" , those in charge of distributing the moldy defective products will be inundated with customer service issues/ complaints and other fun happenings and uncomfortable happenstancings.It might be worth it to serve whole wheat and nutritious bread as opposed to fluffy white bread - which is a surfacey sort of bread product and doesnt have as much of a positive impact on the soul like the pure ,real whole wheat bread is known to perpetuate.