Rabbi Urban B. Bourbon

If I had to pick a name for a rabbi I would probally choose :
"Rabbi Urban B. Bourbon" .

It just has the perfect bling bling ring to it. I also like the connotations.

Will you be my Rabbi ?

Of Dangling Danburites/Enlightened Rhodolites and Twinkling Tanzanites

So basically we all function as rough rock, trying to fix/ facet/smooth/twinkle/dazzle and sparkle our way towards perfection.
Some have the privilege of gracing the awesome windows of ABC Carpet and Home (see above pic). Other less fortunate rock are forced to roam cubicledom dealing with insecure rock associates.
The question is what kind of rock are we pretending to twinkle/flirt/ function/aspire to inspire as and or incorporate as part of our lasting legacy.
Some Sparkling White Sapphires and Dashing Young Danburites like to pretend they are just Dazzling Diamonds in the rough.
Rambunctious Rhodolites and Blushing Garnets sometimes yearn to have the haughtiness of World Renowned Rubies.
And there are Sneaky Tanzaniques that adopt Twinkling Tanzanite as part of their namesake.
Why always that innate need to integrate and pretend/adopt the characteristics of the more well known gemstones of society.
Wouldnt it make more sense to work on faceting /fixing and or enhancing the rock you were created as, in the enviroment most conducive to personal spiritual rock growth.
Diamonds/Rubies/Emeralds and Sapphires are not the only segments of society one should aspire to belong to. Instead of the many other gemstone segments of society working so hard to belong to segments that are clearly out of spiritual reach with the more than occasional ethical breach, why not work on creating new gemstone named society segments and communities.

And or creative ways to function as the rock your were created as.
There really is no need for skeptical pink topaz to have to pretend to be sparkling pink sapphire/and definitely not twinkling pink diamonds.But that shouldnt stop skeptical pink topaz from decorating her life with twinkling pink diamonds for inner equilbrium.

And lets not forget the fun fact that "in the rough" is the new "fully faceted".
No more worries about being too rough and unrefined, you can now decorate your life around the rough edges with diamonds /sparkly sapphires/twinkling tanzanites or mature tourmaline ,enhancing the rough rock of life with the sparkly decor of your choice. I believe the core changes through spiritual gemstone osmosis or diffusion.

I pick alei shure as the pink diamonds to decorate my unrefined life as a rough piece of jaded topaz.

The Art That Is Spiritual Graffiti Studded Subway Halls & Streets

Spirituality is quite the rampant wannabe cure for urban banalism in NYC it seems.
Subway halls are adorned with messages of hope and sparkle deep into the winter.
Spiritual advisors are hawking their wares/phamphlets and new & improved bibles around every corner. Ambitious prophets and spirited saviors never tire treading up and down the streets, religiously, rounding corners with their loud messages of hope/ punishment/ hell to pay and heaven forbid.
Some set up permanent residental corners of hope on pieces of pavement and microphone their mindsets and piercing point of views 24/7.
Even Blackbird hawking person seems to be birdcalling to a spirit of another feather.
Do these people ever tire of delivering the same message of spiritual hope to the scores of oblivious /disinterested/ aloof cubicle goers and corner office dwellers doing the park for their lunch minutes.
Yesterday, an indian religion guru spent 15 minutes expounding on his philosophies and then presented me with my very own hard cover version of a new version of I forget which bible. He offered this expensive bible without even knowing if I intended to donate a nickle or a twenty.
A pure example of faith in the masses and in the G-d they are promoting .
What drives these guys to believe so hard in the philosophies they're spouting rigidly and religiously, day in and day out. Rain/ shine/ cold /aloof / clouds or humidity.
I wish I could believe so hard, in that way.

Z as in Zinnia

Life is like a seasonal garden , one minute your contemplating the tulips/daffodils/hyacinths/ perfectly pink tree blossoms in Madison Square park and before you can say z is for zinnia, the daisys and black eyed susans have started their dance around the lampost . And the perfectly potted petunias are doin the petulant trail downards towards the sidewalks of NYC.

The Iris's are spent and resting in stalks, the chrysanthymums are threatening to flower their dark brooding fall blooms, but those colorful zinnia's are coloring their way through the dog days of summers in a profusion of colorful perfection.
Never losing their hyperactive enthusiasm for all things colorful.
And blooming everywhere and in between, changing mediocre patches of space in the process.

I've spotted zinnias in pretty clay pots at the Bryant park flower shop and behind a large metal gate on a random Lexington ave corner.
I've also noticed them setting up shop in quaint summer cottages along the Jersey Shore and nestling loudly in a patch of grass near a lighthouse.
When I grow up I definitely want to be like the zinnias.

Perfectly Poised and Posing in Turquoise

There is nothing like a perfectly poised turqoise light fixture posing eloquently in a random NYC park, to help place hyperactive perspectives under a whole new light.

It just paints light fixtures and lighthouse life fixers in a whole new shade of aqua like color

Why the dearth of really good daddy's ?
I'm not so sure that the age old religious directive to follow in the footsteps of the overly friendly fruitflies and "Be Fruitful and Multiply" everywhere, is actually a universally applicable policy and procedure thing.
Did G-d include breeding on everyones life to do list ?
Are dysfunctional fathers fixable.
Letter of the law daddys programmed to connect with no spirit in sight are about as fun and deep as letter of the figuretive law husbands that are programmed to purchase flowers every friday.

To all the really good daddies out there, especially the one's that i've come across over the years, thank you for working so hard and daddying soo good.

As much as I would love to think that Aunti-ing is the most important part of a kids life, I know good daddies are probally way more important.

OK, I also know at the end of the day there really is only one father namely G-d, that I technically should be filing my complaints/ concerns/cryings and confidings with.Its just so hard depending on Gd when the answers are just as ambiguous and or flexible as the questions.

Its easier to keep on acquiring new daddies here on earth, on an as needed basis .

The perfect marriage ceremony

Oh my G-d Desperate Housewives is my favorite show. Other than Grays Anatomy.
Mike and Susan’s wedding with the whimsical colorful lanterns strung along on trees is perfect.Spontaneity included .
I'm definitely goin to do something along those colorful lantern lines.(my kid will come after though)
That show is soooo profound on a thousand different emotional levels.

Urban Bourbon

Urban bourbon is my favorite wordplay of the day.
There really is nothing like getting all bourbon buzzed in urban territory.Subway rides seem way more fun too and there is that whole new way of lookin at life/subway pole dancing and laughing hard with friends over subway commercials that are really not that funny.
Life is bascially a short subway ride.You can hop on and off tryin to find the right stop but at the end of the day you will hear a message similar to the end of the 2 train message ingrained in my head " this is the last stop on the train everyone please leave the train". And then you will have no choice but to leave the train and hope you did all the right things. And also hope u didnt miss the last q bus. fun times fun times.
So my new favorite quote of the day "No one dies a virgin lifes fucks us all" Kurt Cobain.
Love that concept. Promoting negativity is fun sometimes.
Anyway back to how short life is , I guess I should focus on pure purpose promoting.
Really though , why am I here , where am I going and how am I getting there. Is a husband waiting for me somewhere. Will the key charm ever start working.
Will the fluted topaz heart charm ever attract the husband I'm suppposed to marry.
Could I ever really commit to a marriage.
Do I really need to at the end of the day.
Why was I created again.
The previous self centered pieces of random thought processes have been brought to you in full by the Urban Bourbon Society for Boozing Bumstresses and dedicated to thriving through imbibing initiatives.

Oral/Moral/Written/Wired

So I have this whole new writer crush. I was sunning this afternoon and catchin up on a weeks worth of Wall Street Journals and Friday's Science Journal section, featured this brilliant piece really well written by Robert Lee Hotz.

"Scientists draw Link between Morality And Brain's Wiring"
is a thoroughly profound piece "drawing a direct link between the neuroanatomy of emotion and moral judgement".

My favorite part : " At this level of inquiry, the mind is a special effect generated by neurons".Trust is a measure of neuropeptide levels, while fairness is an electromagnetic pattern in the right pre-frontal cortex.Disrupt it with a strong magnet, as did University of Zurich researchers in 2006, and any sense of fair-dealing fades away like a radio station subsumed by static." Robert Lee Hotz.

Its utterly profound and scintillatingly terrific neuroscientific stuff , he is sooooo my new favorite neuroscience writer .

Random Summations/Disconcerting Conundrums

Y are obtuse obstacles and spiritual directives generally painted in a hazy shade of ambiguous amber.
Has crystal clear clarity gone the way of the trendy pacifier necklace of years gone by.
When do one night stands become one month hooker look-alikes and one year fucked up for life aches.
Y cant I drum up enough patience to sit in one cubicle and focus on one tedious/ tired mission statement for more than three months at a time.
Y cant I love the utterly mundane, stay enchanted with the ordinary, enthralled with the obvious, interested in the less than interesting.
When will I stop running away and after everything, in no particular direction.
Will I ever get my act together long enough to understand why.
The Jaded song just started on WPLJ , serendipitous indeed.
I think its time for some early morning flavored smirnoff smoothies, for that smooth sailing pretend sensation and purely pink sunrise catching.

Life - All dressed Up in Fickle Finery and Fridays Finest

Spring is like life, mostly. One day your soul deep in enchanting mystical musings , picturesque moments, lacy pretty outlooks, Alei Shure aspirations and Kedoshim lectures and promises.
And life is a perfect sunny late April morning in Madison Square Park.
The spring intoxication does have those hangover side effects though & before you can say Groundhog day, you find ureself contemplating pits / spent cherries and abc crabapples that have abruptly taken the place of the pretty pink blossoms that must have flirted their way through life till they hit mud. While you were blissfully tanning through the branches.
You notice that the ethereal lacy picturesque moments have become mundane summer tree moments. The pretty petals fade pretty fast into the windblown path of perpetual spiritual bliss.Scattering all the petals of unanswered questions and quests along in flutterlike fashion like little petulant flower girls
Life's fickle like that.

Think Pink

Never ignore an opportunity to laugh/cry/learn/give/embrace/connect/love/hug and or photograph Madison Square Park in its fickle lace spring finery.Especially on a fine sunny workday afternoon.

Blackberryed Irish Brilliance Sparkling on Bathroom Stall Wall

My starry eyed divine inspiration and intervention for this tedious Tuesday came unpackaged via this Irish gem sparkling with innate wisdom (I wish i knew the author). It landed in my blackberry inbox in the wee early afternoon hours. Thanks in full to exceedingly erudite and astoundingly astute Ryan who photographed & blackberryed this piece of bathroom humor, after coming across the poetic piece in a bathroom stall.

It just puts the tedious, the tacky, the tasky , the pesky, the picturesque and the sappy happy happenstancings .... all in their proper and respective perspectives.

If I only knew how to paint with colors like Ambiguous Gray , Wtf White and G-d are you listening Green, Y me Magenta, Already Been Screwed That Way Sage,Cubicle Lover Coral, Plan ahead Purple, or Stop & Think Pink...... life would not be such an iridescent mess of rainbow opal colors.

Running around and off the edges. Like aimless energy and runaway tears running amok and short circuiting along on the wayward neuronal circuitry tracks .....in no particular order or picture.

Merry Un-Moppable Myopic Moping

My favorite wordcombo of the morning is- myopic moping. Moping does have those subtle mystic yet myopic connotations and subtexts. Sort of like brooding, but brooding sometimes excudes an intellectual kind of aura/borderline brilliance based. Brooding also generally presents as a valid /self explanatory and logically erudite emotional conclusion to a sequence of events.Moping on the other hand has that dopey/myopic image problem. Like, nothing some fresh scent clorox wipes cant clean from the molding moping memory banks.
I think both are intellectually based emotional pursuits that should be pursued often for a refreshing emotional/mind makeover.
Merry Moping !
Update :my favorite word combo now in a sentence : A merry morning or month messily muddied by moments of un-moppable myopic mopings/musty musings & misty based mysticism.

Religious Nuance/ Neurons /Neuroplasticity & New Knowledge

So my question for this thirsty thursday morning, does neuroscience and religion have any kind of intimate relationship thing goin on. Or is it strictly that dualism deal. Or like a platonic relationship with perks and potential ie; sleep together in the same ethical/ moral bed, hug often in the spirit of spirituality and friendly friendship connection thing but .......no all the way.Unless either neuroscience or religion gets too drunk to know otherwise and then its little neuro-religious junior junkies running around. Anyway........

Slate has some profound new neuroscience pieces . Train Your Mind Change Your Brain is actually a fascinating book. Its basically a collaboration of buddhism and neuroscience. Do any other religions enhance/interact or allow for neurocientific discoveries/ conclusions /erroneous assumptions/ false impressions/profound realizations/ misconceptions /notions /valid conclusions/messing with the personality/fixing the personality. Or at least offer some sort of spiritual directive on this neuroscientific stuff. Like its ok to re-route some of the neuronal circuitry system routes and program the impulse control or free will parts to mimic Mother Theresa's sense of altruism or Palti Ben Layish's sexual discipline as long as you keep the general laws. Its back to the same question of if i could tweak my brain to react accordingly how does free will fit in here and all those promises of heaven and the afterlife for those that do sin . And a toasty place in hell for the merry sinners.

Spring on a Heady Hangover Sunday

As I trudged drunkily past the scintillating scents of spring,the pastel colored hyacinths in crooked lines of swerving forward . And traipsed trippily right past the pretty in merry colors tulip patches. Missing many opportunities to jump up in hyper happy spirits celebrating the white lacy branches of flowering trees flirting in the wayward wind. In addition to being delirious and oblivious to the daffy daffodils strutting their yellow blooms and stuff. And instead spending part of a perfectly pretty sunday afternoon time puking my excess adderall and alcohol imbibing up in the bathroom. It was at that very long string of sunday afternoon seconds that I just knew. I just new that at the end of the day or night it was all worth it.

Yeah as sappy as that sounds.
And who are you to judge what sort of sappy happy happenstance, I choose to flavor my syrupy life of maple sugar moments with.

This piece of random poetry has been brought to you in part by the "Hangover Foundation for Getting Over". And is dedicated to the undulating waves of innate nausea that threatened to knock me out right on top of those pretty tulip patches /clay pots of hyacinths and daffodils/and right under those lacy white cherry tree blossoms.

Also, G-d, I know ure pulling the strings, will you ever stop just letting go in the middle of nowhere. I dont need to be reminded of how much a pre-programmed puppet named predestination, I really am. Even when I pretend I dont.

Cheers/Hugs and Happy Spring Imbibing and embracing. There is nothing like the pure and unadulterated comfort of a long embrace.
Sooo comforting under the comforters.

Jadedism Judaism and Jade Lounging

My artfully tart and tartfully artsy blackberry retorting buddy spotted this depressingly impressive cornerstone of Jadedism on a random NYC street corner, One fine work day when we were soul deep in repentence/religion related conversationing. And then artfully proceeded to photograph this jaggedly spent Jade Lounge all decked out in splintered panels and withered wood in varying hues of musty maple/rusty rail and bitterly brown.(redundant usage of said picture for reiteration purposes only) Its radiating the kind of jadedism, I hope I never confront alone in a dark myopic moment, even if I have to.

Dancing with Determinism/Prancing with Predestination/ Flirting with Fatalism and Free Will

So Aside from issues like is there a G-d and how many ..... and the endless debates on mind over matter -dualism/monism/materialism/determinism/causality/free will/mental force/volition/meditation/neuroplasticity/medication/psychotherapy........Neuroscientific discoveries in general keep promoting new debates /questions and disconcerting contradictions and cloudy conclusions .

Between the ancient neuroscientific discoveries that are constantly being fine tuned /perfected and new ones constantly discovered , one can basically tweak the parts of the brain directly related to fear/logic/ reasoning/ free will/ choice/impulse /pain and so many other parts of personality.

So fiddling around with the prefrontal cortex and free will /will and related activities, ok according to fatalism would probally have no effect on end result. According to determinism the fiddling would probally just be part of that complex causality theory. According to predestination and Judaism specifically pirkei avot - "everything is predestined but freedom of will is given".
So is tweaking the chemical levels that would affect free will physically on a prefrontal cortex or other brain part level is that considered an extension of general free will or overstepping those nebulous spiritual boundaries into flirting with fate and messing with mysticism territory.

Even basic elementary concepts like our purpose in life is to avoid sin and do acts of kindness and that whole free will versus preprogrammed concept doesnt make much sense if we can tweak our brains to react accordingly.Whether through mental force/meditation/ medication or surgery.
If an individual with an overactive sex drive and too many partners takes a personality dulling dose of stimulants to eliminate excess sexual neediness is there credit issued for discipline of which the actual neediness was eliminated?

What about religious discipline and adherence due to chemical fixing/medicating. Why would credit be given if there is no challenge involved.
Are preprogrammed robots rewarded for their fine sense of cognitive choice and decisions.How about robots that are fixed ?

Lets not forget about those SSRI's and stimulants that really mess with personality. Personality pruning is not as simple as it presents.

At what point does free will mess with frivolous free for all and flirting with fatalism.

Less than Lucid Elucidations on Spring Sensations

So Spring this year feels like a series of random focused snapshots /sensory disconnect sensations/lucid elucidations/cloudy conclusions/processing errors/tedious tasks/ rusty realizations/ colorful photographs and the occasional fun wordplay neatly scattered, wordlessly in the scrapbook of life.Bound barely with thinning threads of spent personality/ chance/luck and irony. One frayed photograph at a time. Framed cynically in a whimsical shade of sparkle, with the settled glitter and sparkle dust of happenstance gone by. Displayed by default in no particular order.

Brain Taffy/Mending the Mind/Re-Bending The Pliable Perspectives of Dyslexic Reality

I think everyone should take a summer sabbatical from cubicledom and just spend the days roller coaster riding/ sunning/roadtripping/laughing/ photographing (see above pic for ethereal ABC Carpet and Home Autumn window) and finding the color and sparkle in hum drum daily living.

Its actually a necessity for those blessed with second hand brains.

Second hand brains are annoying and sprain easily especially in dim colorless cubicles . They often read objectives/missions statements/ reality/directives/goals/ obligations /change and related activities in dyslexic english with lateral subtexts and nary a linear connotation in sight.

I guess there's lots of good stuff out there if one is in need of some brain tweaking taffy, cortex correcting candy, serotonin levels fixing sugar or some rum for a reality check.

Clinically speaking, there's actually a plethora of magic powders (md approved) for dulling or re-arranging emotional pain in neat, channeled, linear sequential thought processes ,carefully encapsulated in colorful capsules. Other happy r us helpers include those baby blue tablets for tears that are running too often & bubble gum pink tablets for creating one's own personalized hum drum skinny existence out of hyperactive energies running amok .

So you can function all skinny in your new focused hum drum existence.

For the splintered minds and fractured souls , a simple M-tab will melt away the divides and fix the perpetual picture of reality ....constantly photographed in split format.And then u got the Glitter gel caps that help capture the joy of a chemically balanced living, and all sorts of pleasure seeking and pleasing pills for swallowing the bitter pain of raw/ uncensored emotions clogging the arteries of emotional health.

And then there's always the controversial Ecstacy for connection enhancing ,channelling of the energies towards the acute stages of unadulterated ecstacy.Fabricating fickle moments of euphoria has never been so easy.

The problem with second hand brains though is that at best they are decidedly predictably unpredictable .And have everything to do with the ever increasing disadvantages the end user is generally challenged with from core visual and emotional processing errors to endless sources of rampant energy running amok.

Basically its like giving Jittery Jade a thoroughly researched personlized Ritalin or Adderall dose to follow daily and giving Hyperactive Crystal a hodge podge of natural stimulants like Focus Factor/Caffeine/Red Bull/diet pills to fabricate some focus with. Jittery Jade will probally have a better life mission statement worked out.Hyper Crystal will think about her mission statement every now and then .... but will probally spend most of her life trying to get her energy channeled properly using second hand OTC assistance.

Is the brain that cant reckon good, responsible for the day of reckoning or does G-d accept the recalls.

Prancing High Horses and Holy Horse Shit

So I recently received this small manila envelope from an anonymous sender.
Folded neatly inside was a sanctimoniously laced apology/forgiveness seeking message sprinkled liberally with bullshit/ biblical quotings & preachy directives ,typed tackily on fake floral stationary with the occasional big word .
Oh and a Chofetz Chaim lecture neatly tucked in.
Apparently, some individuals aka "caring classmate" from my religious high school have decided to do a
a mass appology/seek forgiveness mailing with a light unto the nation theme .
My thoughts :

A) Remove my name from your sanctimonious mailing list immediately.
1)You guys really dont change - contrary to your personal beliefs ,the world does not revolve around you and your holy projects and light unto the nation themes , please get off your religious high horses and clean up your own holy horse shit. I personally have long deleted any files associated with that despicable poor excuse for a high school, as such your names are not recognized in my current database of people I associate with/think about or forgive.
2) Typing tackily on fake floral stationary is not ok for this sort of mass mailing apology/forgiveness seeking project
3) Why are you sending me chofetz chaim lectures- clearly you should be listening to them yourself.
4) You guys still make me puke with your everpresent sanctimonious bullshit even after quite a few long years.

My suggestion to you and your droopy friends in sad states, stop suggesting what others should be doing, reading, listening to, who they should be forgiving and what they should be thinking about.
Start with yourselves, the first step is awareness - awareness that you are absolutley NOT G-ds gift to judaism. Even if you know way more navi than me and dress like nuns with no sense of fashion. Then start reciting the Iggeres Haramban every day and actually listen to
the message.
Oh and dont send me stuff ,ever. I clearly have no use for your personal updates or the preachy directives prancing out of your pious projects.To be precise, they are puke inducing. Just so you know.

Winterberry Wonder

Before I start giving the utterly ethereal /flirty/flowering spring trees my undivided attention, I think those pretty cherry red winterberry trees deserve some color recognition.
I think they should definitely be given some sort of best use of color award for persistently promoting color and cheer in the dreariest/ bleakest and bitterest of situations.

Think Pink

I actually encountered this ethereal think pink flowering tree one warm Saturday back in January at Riverside Park .

Dont Fall In

Yeah , those slushy NYC street corners are quite conniving with their "pretend surfaceyness" but they will so "deep slush" you, when you least expect it.
Over and over again actually, until you learn to sidestep the corners and walk in circuitious routes avoiding all potential deep slush pit corners.

Tedious Tuesday's To Do List

Tuesday's Tasks:

Pop Adderall.

Recite the Iggeres Haramban letter and spend 10 minutes of precious morning commute time communicating lofty thoughts and caring altruistic prayers to

G-d.

(In the faithful hopes of ensuring successful completion of today's cubicle curriculum schedule.)If you pray for others the altruistic energies boomerang right back supposedly, though this should not be the intial intention probally but its always good to practice altruism.

Arrive ten minutes early to work to override consistent bad habit of latecomings.

Work hard, stay focused all day.Pop Adderall often. There's nothing like feel good focus helper.

Those candy boxes of days gone by just never heard of Adderall ."Dope" is not everything.

Though with the Adderall, sometimes I feel like my personality is on vacation. I'm not sure whats more important, sitting focused and working hard or having a personality.It would be lovely to have both .I guess G-d wasnt in a good mood that day when he was putting my brain togethor

Tan tenaciously during all 30 minutes of lunch time.Arrive (outside on next street with public outdoor furniture) early , for best view of snatches of sun between tall buildings.

Sun-dream of winning many different jewelry design awards simultaneously.

With a heavily concerted focus on that best use of color and design category.

Arrange weekend hyper-happy sparkle and glitter party for nieces.

Purchase seasons pass to Six Flags.

Pop more Adderall.

Plan a garden

Contemplate going Greyhound or cruising on the Crescent

Decide that responsiblity comes first as does committment and all related fun words not related to runaway.

And that should probally be it for another day in the life of a "Groundhog Day"

Tea for Tuesday anyone ?

Pondering at Peculiar Pub

Peculiar Pub is the perfect place to ponder perplexing stuff with friends.
I've sorted out lots of complicated stuff over these tables.
I've also done alot of listening to others here.
There's something about alcohol that makes listening a whole lot easier.
"Time really does fly when ure havin rum"
For the rest of the time though there's Adderall.
Life short though, and times a wastin.
The question is what the fuck should I really be doin with the time.
Its soooo hard getting up every morning and just goin for another Groundhog day. Hopping on to a Greyhound at Port Authority is always tempting.
As is boarding the Crescent to New Orleans at Penn Station.
Or even that Vermont Train.- I should really live for the moment - the snow is melting .......
I keep forgetting why I need to be working so hard and for what and how long, how many when/ where and how often.
I dislike mornings, any morning.
Especially Moody Monday Mornings though.
And then you got the whole Tedious Tuesday ahead of you, YaY.
Wimpy Wednesday is right around the corner all mediocre and neither here nor there really just spacing out in middle of the week.
Thirsty Thursday is the day you should be looking forward to though.
And Sunny Saturdays at the shore.

The Joys of Rejoicing

Random Stuff To Rejoice About, In No Particular Order :

Chandelier touring at ABC Carpet and Home (see above pic).

My Fixed Blackberry.
Bon Jovi’s new song.
My Nieces and Nephews .
Grays Anatomy.
Adderall .
Spring .
Flowers
Flowering Trees .

Sharon Begley's new book .
My Comprehensive Shotglass Collection .
The plethora of men that want to sleep with me.
The fun fact that I’m still at the same cubicle and it’s been a month!

I LOVE MY JOB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amusement parks are opening their pearly gates of fun in less than a month!
Aimlessness.
Directionless.
Persons of the unadulterated altruism persuasion, that dispense focus and care.

The magic charm of the Iggeres Haramban letter.

And then there is the rustic everyday reality that just overrides stuff, alot of stuff by rusty default. The kind of rustic reality that you just cant build charming cottages with quaint front porch perspectives out of. Its more like those bitterly abandoned sheds with barely an ounce of self respecting paint left..... just spacing out at the edge of large properties not likely to be influenced by optimistic gardens and flowers. Maybe a windowsill garden though and a charming crystal chandelier or six .

When life hands you a glass ..........

When life hands you a glass, go for the flower gazing in a glass vase motif.

It generally works better than alcohol and related liquids (even lemonade) in providing/ perpetuating persistent optimsim and other fundamentals of faith.

Especially in the morning.

Go ahead, make Pollyana proud- she's definitely smiling smugly in Pollyana heaven.

Fixing the Focus/Crocuses and the Crux of the matter

Life is mostly all about the focus.Experiencing the cold harsh winter in all its fickle finery , faithfully until the cows come home/the snow/hail stops sleeting and the pretty in flirty purple crocuses come out to play.I wish I knew how to fix the focus though.

Steel Structure Systems/Tulips and Lips

So today I'd like to thank G-d for spring , flowers , bulbs ,zinnias, roses,tulips, cosmos, petunias, color /flirty flowering trees and related floral activity . (See last years tulips in NYC pic above for imagery purposes only).(Always live in the past..... it helps perpetuate the fun in dysfunctional...& under a whole new light).
There definitely is nothing like Spring, for the perfect distraction.A whole new flowering slate of color/optimism and all things Pollyana oriented.
Oh , And thank G-d for steel structure systems that keeps things in check when the colorful go hyper and start coloring everything an iridescent shade of disarray.
Sometimes we dont know why we have steel bars hampering our growth and painting everything a rigid shade of metallic grey.
Other times we dont know either.
I guess thats why we have the lips..... for verbal accolading , gracious gratituding ,faithful(less) thanking and related activities.

Like thanking G-d for the good, the bad, and the ambiguous.

Back to last years tulips though ....are they doing a way better growth thing with the rigid steel check system here in NYC ?
Would they be better off in a runaway field in some rural part of Holland or would they just end up in a Ruby Red ABC Carpet & Home vase spacing out on a funky pink glass desk.
Or are they merrily making the most of their pretty little short tulip lives stifled and blooming in neat rows of strict color and artful rigidness.

I've always wondered what the best way is to grow as a tulip / zinnia /cosmo or any flower. Is the flower supposed to conform to the garden or do you create the garden to conform to the flower.What about wildflowers are they supposed to change gardens and scenery every 2-3 weeks.

Did I mention I love love love love love love love flowers .

Quintessential Quixote Quoting

"He jumped up on his horse and rode off in all directions" Don Quixote .
I love this quote, mostly cuz its basically my soul's slogan.
Its definitely the default mission statement, pre-programmed on my neuronal circuitry system's hard drive. The quintessential question though still remains , what would be considered a greater inherent life accomplishment: acquiring many different quaint cubicle positions in a short amount of space and time, or occupying one cubicle for a long stretch of space and time. Is it the diversity and the knowledge acquired in the different fabric/plexicrap paneled cubicles and the impressive talent used to attain those flexible panels of days gone by, or the consistency and ability to sit in one cubicle and focus on one individual companys keyboard and mission statement until the end of time and space and or other natural distractions like power outages/coming of the kids and arrival of a husband or two .

I guess the first question is : what are you using to build your cubicle curriculum ? Is it a flexible panel system the "Rolling Wall" or something more permanent like a complicated Tayco built in panel system .
Second question is what color is your cubicle : Fading Fabric/Focused Crystal Clear Plexiglass/Colorful disarray of everywhere/everything/mission statements/rules and art.
Third: What sort of cubicle curriculum ethic are you modeling your career after : A Runaway Cubicle Quitter/Cubicle Sitter/Cubicle Coordinater/Cubicle Fixer/Cubicle Lover/Cubicle Acquirer/Cubicle Owner/Cubicle Decorater/Cubicle Creater.
Or Union Square Booth Lady.

Merry Christmas and Merry Morning

NYC is definitely my favorite playground . How can you not be merry in the morning passing all this color and art . Boredom and hum drum are scarce. Iridescent color /flirty fun /thrills and acute excitement are running rampant throughout the different parts of NYC's diverse playground areas.Every Ave is a different mood.Every park has its own theme. The fusion of everywhere /everything/ colorful glitter /intellectual pursuits/the sparkledust of exciting everyday happenstance and a plethora of opportunities and lewd comments and suggestions, is what makes NYC the most awesome place on earth.

What Color is Your Tinsel Tree or Outlook

If ure stuck and cant decide what metallic shade of tinsel best represents your iridescent essence just go with all the colors. Be the best everywhere person you can possibly be . Travel hard and often down every right path in unison or in sequence . Marry often . Choice/decision/yes or no / pink or black / gemologist or pharmacist/ brooklyn or manhattan/ jewelry designer or writer/pharmacology or talkology/argumentive/perceptive/ Pollyana/Pippi Longstocking /Peter Pan/ Sponge Bob Square Pants/ South Park/ The Care Bears ....religious or athiest/ dog runner or egg donor/call girl or waitress/ Bar owner or Bar decorator /chabad or aish or kinky jews/ Zionist or Nomadist/ Hippy or Hip Hop. Why is every choice negating by default the rest of the options. . Why would anyone work for their cake or tinsel if they cant eat it or sparkle too.It doest have to be that way.
So the next time your faced with way too many right choices and right paths , just choose Everything/ all choices/ all paths. Stuff will probally stay exciting for way longer , yeah its that simple really.

Tuesday in a Tizzy

So accomplishments for Tuesday include but R not limited to the following :
1) While waiting for a tardy friend to show up , I think I was mistaken for a prostitute by a religious looking individual. I guess my bitchy comebacks assured him I was not interested in flirting with him, his furry looking hat and not that hungry for paid love either. I attract the most interesting sexual energy sometimes.
2) I got good pictures of holiday merriment and funky decor in broad daylight.
3) I found my favorite shade of coral and red mix sweatshirt on sale at the Gap.
4) My camera has this awesome setting for christmas lights .
5) I almost have a new cubicle of the week .
6) I hope I can convince them to include crystal colored chandeliers in their general product ,manufacturing /importing and promoting. Maybe I can get them to hang one over my new cubicle .

Jaded's Ladder

When life gives you a unstable plywood oriented ladder laminated with a thin veneer of musty maple for climbing, with less than sturdy rungs and rusty camlock screw cores for focus, just continue collecting sparkledust specks of lovingkindness/ glitter outlooks of goodness /& iridescent bubbles and bulbs.You may not be goin up in the rungs of life, but at least you have the glitter of goodness to distract and detract from just how far sideways your not soaring. Just be certain the tin cans of caring ure trusting with all your glitter and sparkle bubbles and belief bulbs of sudsy aspirations ,dont have no rusty outlooks and tinily understand how u want to spread the light of iridescent insights in colorful presentations of depth/ function /focus and purpose. Then it doest really matter if your adhering to the proverbial linear upward ladder rung trailways .Sometimes lateral sidetracking can also pave the way towards total unadulterated altruism / runaway everwhere lovingkindness and hyper happiness .

Redecorating The Blue and White Tinsel of Timeless Traditions

So I just need to emotionally color the Blue and White Tinsel of Timeless Traditions a hazy shade of "Iridescent Why" or maybe "Winter Green Wonder" , like the pretty wreaths in Madison Square Park artfully decorated with eloquent wispy shades of ambiguous silver bows of merriment. Also, I just dont get Hannuka mostly. And all that lets be happy and celebrate, how exactly is one suppose to lets be happy and celebrate.That is just a wee bit difficult, all things considering and contemplating. I dont get alot of things, but Hannuka is just annoying in general and it tends to get increasingly so, every time I get unsolicited related holiday wishes. I DONT DO HANNUKAH PERIOD. As such, I find it exceedingly difficult bordering on acutely painful to pretend to rejoice about concepts I dont understand. Nor do I need any related wishes /hopes /dreams and I certaintly dont need any invites to events associated with the oily /esoteric concepts and themes. So please refrain from the hannukah related friendly overtures /group hugs /invites and loving the light and embracing the oily lectures. I would sincerely suggest you allocate these well meaning overtures and tendencies to those a little more hannukah friendly and needy. I for one, am perfectly content with the more mainstream merry making /mostly universal lights theme- without any laws , sparkly and colorful tinsel oriented decorations and the awesome , multicolored ethereal projects of iridescent color. The epitome of all lighthouse oriented activities, the awesome holiday decorated houses and outdoor property parts.

Have a Merry Morning and Month

Stringin along on the Strands of Time

I thought this was quite the lovely coral display on lower Broadway in the beads of plenty and cheap perfume district.The only question is what made those pretty strung along lights go dim among the pretty coral strands.Or were they just not in the mood of sparkling anymore especially during the day when there is all that conflicting messages of saw the light or redefining of saw the light sunlight already out there. So basically there's usually a plethora of figuretive lighthouses all with their own versions of beckoning/blinding light and enchanting ideologies and promises of safe shores and acute connection. Then you've got a plethora of Lighthouse nay-keepers redefining the lighthouses in question and pointing out all the inconsistencies / conflicting ideologies /general flawed theories /mystical myopic oriented myths and falsehoods/fairytales eagerly absorbed by those of the Pollyana Persuasion who are only too happy to be strung along on the strands of brightly colored myopic myth and the blue and white tinsel of timeless traditions.

When Life insists on the Fickle Limp Foliage ......

So yeah , when life insists on the limp/ fickle /lukewarm/ green foliage ,place yourself or the foliage in winter white earthenware and wrap it all up with a pretty red merry bow for pure holiday cheer promoting.It usually works even on cold rocky pavement.
Whats not to be merry about.G-d Loves You in case your having trouble seeing that amidst the clouds/ sleet / hail storms and other showerings of love. Its just soooo obvious ,cuz like if I would be responsible committed to all sorts of commitees and commitments and sincerely serious and know right from wrong, (of which I really obviously have no excuse not to be knowing after all that expensive tuition oriented private schooling), then I wouldnt be so lazy/ambiguous/lost in the shuffle/hazy shade of haziness about stuff and choices and direction and everything would be as obvious as Ruby the Beautiful Red Bow ,beckoning the garden hoe to continue cultivating the limp /fickle greenery instead of letting everyone including herself trample all over the four leaf clovers that are supposedly rampant among the crab grass and ferny looking things.Just be merry for G-ds sake and pretend you know why ure supposed to be making pretty/ colorful /flourishing gardens out of limp fickle winter foliage.

Sparkle Dust Overdose / Vexing Verbosity Ventings

Soooo can't get enough of the sparkle dust and glitter happenstancings. I think I qualify for the most cubicles occupied in a given square foot of time.Its not the actual attaining of the coveted positions of Cubicle Wanderingdom, its maintaining them. The winds of perpetual boredom and the general existence of vexing verbosity concerns ... yeah its that kind of stuff that mostly paints the whole cubicle picture in a hazy shade of runaway red.Will I ever stop running from boring cubicles and related happenstancings. I guess I need to harness the art of embracing boredom .

I should at least get an award for the quite impressive array of cubicle curriculums i've managed to start but not finish. Finishing stuff is overrated.Why finish what you started when you can start a whole new something.

How will your Glass Ball Frost & Fix the Future

Glass is the perfect example of using material for choice and free will options.

The functional rigid folks focus on things like windows /coffee tables and conference tables. The more creative free spirits create paper weights and whimsicle icicles and other ornaments for happy hour. The fickle and insecure create flimsy glass outlooks & hypersensitive perspectives that usually shatter upon harsh contact, or even less than harsh abrupt contact. The shards that are subsequently created, make pretty shattered glass vases for all of life's thorn and branch bouquets. I guess its time to focus on how to make functional conference tables and longlasting cubicles out of shattered shards of colored hypersenstive glass.

Floating Sparkle Dust Evergreen Tree

So basically, everyone gets a preprogrammed version of choice/free will and related energies to decide how they will be functioning on a deeper christmas lights level. Some are happiest strung rigidly in neat circuitious circles around a frostbitten/icy cold evergreen tree firmly planted in the outdoor mud /others are happier gently laced in wayward meandering free form patterns around a pink tinsel tree from Urban Outfitters/and still others are happiest in mid air not attached to anything particular /whimsical and flirting with the windchimes on cute little porchtops .Functioning as perfect/ sparkling whimsicle icicles .
Or if your really lucky with the glitter connections, you can get yourself draped around the evergreen tree doing neverending circles of circuitious sparkledust slow dancing, right in the center of Macy's Beauty window on Broadway in NYC.

More Merry Christmas Messaging

I'm mostly in love with the glitter sparkle dust ornaments in sparkly/ swirly shades of jewel tone colors .

Macy's Merry Christmas Messagings

I got sidetracked today at the Macy's windows.Oh my G-d , the iridescent sparkle dust and profusion of color was quite the impressive glitter sparkle color statement. Macy's holiday message mediums always rock. Especially July Fourth and Christmas.

Achieving Alcohol Flavored Equilibrium

Equilibrium is the basic focus of any activity, from the ever present perpetual quest for connection and purpose to the colorful alcoholic's quest for flavored alcohol and the perfect mix. How exactly is one supposed to fabricate this often elusive concept. Is it color coordinating the alcohol in varying shades and hues of lemon yellow and tangerine melon quartz colored whiskeys and mixers. And then when ure done just adding a prefab selected ruby red cherry / wedge of kelly green lime and some crystal clear cubes of ice. Is this how everything is just all balanced and perfectly color coordinated according to the laws of bartending. Will this always achieve the same results of alcohol flavored equilibrium. Do the flavored effects of lime /cherry and cube ever stop working .

Wispy Petals of Functional Floral Wisdom

Floral Lessons For Daily Functioning : This perfect , winter white bloom of wispy petals & flirty /lacy perfection seems to be conveying quite the profound message of floral functionalism and petal continuity.A floral fact thats as crystal clear as the sky blue topaz vase its safely ensconced in .Mostly, florally speaking one can be purely whimsical/lacey /wispy/fluttery and flirty, just make sure at the end of the day there is an actual functional bloom or bud in the picture /on a stem and connected to some sort of nourishment and energy source .And not just some random wispy petals floating on the table and ground , reminsicing about the perfect bloom and bud days gone by.

Seeing the bloom or bud for the petals should be a given petal's number one priority.Petals are fickle and should not be the main focus for floral recognition and preserving for posterity purposes.The actual functional bud or bloom should be the main focus. Its easier to stay perfectly preserved in a rigid/ boring /strict neat rose bud outlook and narrow glass vase or even frozen in icy cold weather. Its way harder though to stay perfectly preserved in a flirty /whimsical outlook of lacey petals and flirting blossoms.The fickle petals start falling in different directions. And losing sight of the blossom/bud slowly becomes reality.Until all thats left is 3 or 4 fading petals on a thorny branch , too few to function as a blossom and too old and spent to function as a neat perfectly poised bud .
The question is how should petals that are too few for blossom living and too spent for bud functioning how are they supposed to fabricate function/ purpose and connection. Why are these petals working so hard trying to connect to a root source that cannot help them become perfect blossoms or buds.A root source that doesnt even consider them part of their perfect gardens or worthy of drying for wreath purposes.

Why spend all that effort tryin to belong to a root source and muddy soil that is not conducive to integrating and promoting the growth of flawed blossoms/buds and spent blooms situations. Other than decorative floral accents for festive occasions and ceremonies involving petal scattering, among other user friendly options ......what sort of purpose do these petals have in their floral life among functional flora and foliage. Where should they really be looking for the not your ordinary/ less than functional/ colorful &creative petal connections. Or are they just destined to function as blossom wannabe's/ spent buds or colorful scattered wild petals spreading their petals on meandering paths in various states /cities and cubicles along the roadtrip of life.

Cloudy Sunsets & December Rose Buds

There is definitely something sooo magical and ethereal about a perfectly pink rose bud blooming under a cloudy December sunset in New York. It singlehandedly redefines the colorless sunset ,coloring the cloudy black and white Friday evening a pretty shade of think pink.

Disconcerting Starry Concern of the Decade

After sunset , amid the perfect holiday season, sparkling and twinkling with my favorite color concept in the world - (The endless array of decorative multi-colored christmas lights - creating the perfect fusion of sparkle twinkle color and happy), is a not so minor holiday merry mood damper & glitter/ shimmer dimmer. The current disconcerting starry concern of the decade, is contemplating the sort of stars that were applauding or booing my arrival into this almost wonderful world. These were definitely not your run of the mill not so very lucky stars . They were in fact, most likely stars of pure & unadulterated unlucky starry descent. The kind of stars that facilitate in constant/consistent happenstancings involving the distinctly disconcerting "never missing an opportunity to miss an opportunity" slogan attributed to a certain political character and other related not so glittery and sparkly happy happenstancings.
The question is are these stars fixable. Is there some way of medicating their starry negative traits and unlucky energies into glittery positive traits and sparkle dust lucky four leaf clover related energies.
Or is a dark inky sky, a shade darker than the darkest onyx & scattered with unlucky stars/rough black diamond rocks that dont twinkle or sparkle /& adorned w/ equally unlucky starry outlooks , is this the not so fabulous or even fadingly funky foreseeable future I should be looking forward to.