Sunday, February 24, 2008

Secure As-A-Well-Threaded-Button

I always hated sewing, its right up there with baking, cooking and birthing. But when I was a kid I utterly adored and took very good care of the household button collection, comprised of the prettiest ,shiniest and sparkliest buttons.
My favorite one was the heart shaped button in the perfect shade of think pink.
I was thinking about my best friends in general recently and how annoying and insistent certain old friends that I've chosen to ignore could be(Brother Bunny not you !) . This reflective activity also reminded me to make sure I'm never annoying to those friends that I really care about and would never want to annoy ever and decided there was one best friend that needs his own post.
My bestest friend at this time is a guy who I will refer to as the guy who is as "Secure As- A -Well- Threaded Button" - SAB for short .
There is something so self assuring/reassuring and firm about the ground he's come from and is always standing on no matter which way he's pulled strayed and frayed to and fro. He's astoundingly astute , artfully erudite and brighter than Dyker Heights or certain Bel Harbor streets on Christmas Eve.
He is one of the best huggers and sometimes things are fixed with hugs.
I dont agree with his kissing philosophies but thats just me !
I dont ever kiss up to anyone either ever- just saying .
The un-predictable wind has been annoying,arching snarkily,medicore/ meanish, biting and weathering oriented. And from all sides of the equation and equator .
Weather these days !
Global warming hasn't been able to reach certain hearts yet it seems or maybe they just don't want to admit it very loudly.
SAB makes sure that the threads of all kinds /stripes and colors that fasten themselves to him and him to them,hold him tight and dear and close in a mutually beneficial non-thread-bare relationship non-commitment oriented non time sensitive and or oriented way (its all about the negatives) .
SAB is the kind of button that could take a frayed , weather bittten,borderline biting, hyperactive, thread bare material girl , an unsold coat from the 2007 collection of Misty n Tina's, Tinsel N Musty Non-Modest Must Wear Outerwear collection and with one quick fastening and button upgrade ready the re-furbished coat for Misty n Tina's 2008's patchwork plaid n sequins spring collection modesty issues notwithstanind. No small feat ! All it takes is some sincere, swift ,smooth ,skillfully deft and in depth SAB moves, and button un-bittering /toast re-buttering and coat re-buttoning (no coat offering or holding required except long hugs). And your hooked and heartwarmed for life. No sewing skills or pre-heated hearts needed either.
Spending time with SAB makes you forget scary hasidic old wives tales written subjectively in certain jewish newspapers that will remain unamed. SAB has been known to thaw out some of the coldest hearts in history, and from all corners of society.
SAB make things better and not the way patronizing annoying rebbetzins do.
( I DONT HAVE ANY CHIPS ON MY SHOULDER MiSSUS K ! The MISSUS K who recently insisted on misunderstanding and misconstruing my points on one of the stupidest arguments I ever argued on a different thread. I could not have been as obtuse as you would have liked to pretend I was being. As for your trite book recommendations the hedge one I read back when I was still a newly minted obnoxious teenager. It's always good to have the last word, it doesnt matter if it's on a different thread and the person your arguing with is not even reading it ;-)
SAB makes things better cuz he wants to not cuz he wants others to know he does. SAB pretends he doesn't have any humility but he has more humility than anyone I know.
SAB also helps you not care about hasidic old wives tales that can give you nightmares and or make you barking mad and then some !
SAB if you're reading this tonight, thanks for always knowing all the right buttons to push.And for being the kind of button you are.
You are soooooo my favorite button in my current button collection. Just saying, so you should know.


Ry said...

Eh. Another SAB story.

Anonymous said...

Really ought to thread that needle one of these days.

But no more than once a day.