Tuesday, December 25, 2007

What Color is Your Loophole

Inspiration can be found everywhere, you just need to know what your looking for.
Card in point : A focused organized display card of cheerful material loopholes in a Garment/Fashion District window is believed to be the material spark of inspiration behind the "What color is your Loophole" initiative , initially started to promote a deeper understanding on the real role color plays in the shelf life /general stamina levels and legal durability of a given loophole.
Its a colorful day indeed for Loophole Lovers all Over !!!!
Loophole Lovers everywhere will finally be able to incorporate an innate sense of bold color and irresistable flirty fashion into their unique unquenchable quests for the proverbial loophole.
Whether it be obligation free outcomes/narrow escapes/misconstrued ambiguity/shifting the burden of proof over/alternative choices and plan b or c , a limited number of versatile loopholes will now be availabe in varying shades and hues to complement mood and emotional energy.
Currently, the most readily available loophole color - Ambiguous Amber is beginning to give jaded Loophole Lookers & Locators a musty sense of deja moo and subliminal vitamin deficiency messaging.
Varying shades and hues of readily available loophole color should prove to be the facelift, droopy loopholes in limbo desperately need. And in the process merrily promote a whole new sense of potential opportunity optimism and 100% responsiblity free living.
Happy Loophole Loving and Locating !!!!!!

ABC Windows of Wonder

No one does window decor and color coordinated concepts like ABC Carpet and Home

Tenacious Stella Tina in Tinsel & Stilettos

The Learned Loophole Lassoer/Hug Giver & The Unraveling Strip of Runaway Tinsel Trim (a random piece of holiday tinsel fiction)

Once upon a time in a faraway tinsel town, in a gaudily elegant enclave, there lived a happy go lucky piece of iridescent tinsel trim.
Her full name was Tenacious Stella Tina in Tinsel & Stilettos.
Tenacious Tina was no ordinary strip of sparkly tinsel, replete with less than ordinary aspirations and ideologies.
She changed rooftops/evergreen hedges and bar shelves/bottles often. And managed to do quite well as a dazzling decorative trim intern at the world renowned Sincerely Sparkly Holiday Décor and Dazzle Inc.
Successfully decorating the holiday season in quite a number of different venues and cities over the seasons.
Like any piece of tinsel, Tina in Tinsel encountered all sorts of loopholes/ screwy pieces of corrupt plywood/moldy moldings/polite potholes/warm embraces/comforting hugs/tipsy trippings/cold fireplaces/plastic & real fir trees and even the occasional competitive Urban Outfitter pink and aquamarine colored tinsel trees.
She managed to keep in contact with some of the precious encounters, others were sometimes forgotten about, some she left ,some wanted her to stay, some let go of her, some glittered down on her glaringly when she sounded dim, some adored her for the wrong reasons, while others just used her until she sparkled smarter.
Holiday decorations can be quite competitive.
Insecurity runs rampant it seems, even in tinsel town.
But most of the loopholes and potholes that happened along in tinsel studded Tina’s sparkle trimmed life were mostly just placed about by a higher authority without any known rhyme or reason, but ample opportunity for much else.
Tina in Tinsel missed many many opportunities and often wondered if any of those missed opportunities was actually destiny himself all dressed up.

As the seasons turned into other seasons, Tina felt some of her inner tinsel giving way without much pull and her stilettos were getting kind of wobbly. And it seems as though the laws governing tinsel like analytical loophole negotiating were taking a turn for rigidly stricter. Intricate loophole insights were dismissed and treated as a mere nuisance by higher ups. Concepts that were questionable had been ordained has hard cold facts.

The emotional tinsel and sparkle laws were changing and objectives and goals were getting hazier than a foggy shade of gray. And disconcertingly subjective too it seemed on a conjecturing level.
Tenacious Tina was losing core tear stained tinsel beliefs at every decorative loop turn in life.
Her once sparkly outlooks were dazed and almost confused and generally in a dizzy tizzy.
Why were loopholes losing their inherent value? How could she survive on the threadbare facts presented in colorless foreign languages with equally poor translations? She thrived on analytical & colorful hardcore source explanations not colorless mundane opinionated analysis not up for discussion.

Sincerely Sparkly Holiday Décor and Dazzle Inc. was in the midst of shifting its entire mission statement and marketing campaign towards the Midwest and the general target audience were the elderly Sadie’s and Dorothy’s and middle aged Barbara’s and Samantha’s and their laid back agreeable husbands and their school aged well behaved kids in suburbia.
Life was comfortable in sneakers.
Spartan & Sensible was the new Tinsel & Sparkle.

Tina in Tinsel was losing her old place and there wasn’t much room for potential in her new space. And her costume was starting to fade from lack of use. Her stilettos were not happy in their new position either.Her material costume was the only change she understood.
Inner life changes were not the kind of changes Tina in Tinsel processed very well if at all.
Trimming/streamlining/minimal effort and doing away with that which does not need to be addressed was the mission statement her company seemed to be adopting.
The sparkle / intrinsically tinsel outlooks and bona fide evergreen fir findings were being readily dismissed. Material focus was not encouraged.
Attempts had been made to classify some of the more colorful outrageous loopholes insights concepts under: faux colored paste sequins and tardy sage green plastic outlooks for sample sale use only. There had been subtle murmurings and hints to a general gradual shift from outrageous creative décor/ trim /glitter/ tinsel and color to mainstream holiday bake treats//paperwork/functional lawn ornaments /recipe gift sets and a concerted emphasis on customer feedback and mainstream satisfaction.

Tenacious Tina in Tear Stained Tinsel and Tottering Stilettos felt parts of her material namesake slowly slipping away into the past as she tossed her unstable stilettos into the trash can and continued on one barefoot in front of other splashing noiselessly in the warm rainy city sidewalk. Her tears blended in effortlessly with the raindrops . She secretly hoped the changes in store for her inner self had somehow managed mend with the teardrops and meld into the afternoon puddles.

She worried about the new space in life she was trying to conform to.
She wondered why she was trying to conform and how it even made sense.
What if one mundane, Monday morning she went into a bitterly bland faux fur like spiritual foreclosure seizure and tripped over a bake sale and tall pile of papers for filing and fell into a nearby polite pothole or lanky loophole.
Would she even know if she falls into the ambiguous medium sized polite pot hole named mediocrity?
Succumbing to the harsh light of the anti glitter glare and the fumes of ruined cake bakes/lady aide societies/customer service/sensible accounting rhetoric and related tedious tasks.
She imagined she would eventually lose all her carefully cultivated/hardcore caring tinsel outlooks and argument oriented sparkly perspectives in one fell swoop.

As Tina in Tinsel sat in the rain drenched park, stiletto less, watching her tinsel and sparkle material costume come apart at the seams, she tried to imagine what G-d had in mind when he created her.
Did he want her working for a friendly mainstream midwest holiday decor company.
A snarky funky caring downtown holiday decor company
Did he want her decorating and adorning vodka bottles on bar shelves.
G-d did create tinsel and sparkle for a reason.

What sobered Tina in Tinsel mostly though as she sobbed, shedding sparkles of tear stained tinsel all over the polite piece of corrupt plywood she was trying to decorate, was the hardcore realization that her “Learned Loophole Lassoer” won’t always be able to catch her and hug her.
And growing up /responsibility/hardcore change and other uncomfortable shifts of life were waiting right around the corner.
Whether she wanted to turn the corner was actually irrelevant.
The corner with all its changes was ready to come meet her all the way if need be.
She sobbed harder real tinsel tears, as she attempted to create her own loopholes and matching loophole catcher using the tearstained pieces of iridescent tinsel.
She didn’t have enough tinsel for matching “excuse filled” handkerchiefs.

As the tear stained tinsel pieces dried off, she broke off the piece of corrupt plywood and constructively spelled out “words can never spell how thankful I am for the loophole lassoing / locating/hard long hugs & especially for the tinsel dream catcher(ing) and insights”.
Tearstained Loophole Tinsel, it turns out was the perfect thank you card font.

The plaque remains on the Learned Loophole Lassoer and Hug giver's fireplace mantel to this day where it serves as a constant reminder of the importance of tear stained tinsel loopholes,and most of all the implicit importance of the Learned Loophole Lassoer and life photographer fixing tinsel outlooks/hug giving and catching and fixing the moments before all the tinsel wears off and there is nothing left to photograph. For all this Tina in Tinsel is especially thankful this holiday season.
Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Dear G-d

Dear G-d,
Why Me?
Couldnt you have picked someone a little more qualified, to do the job,especially the tedious mundane tasks that insist on acting as the gift that keeps on working? Just curious.
It would also help if the mission statement was just a tad less opaque.
Also the rampant myopic inlay and optimistic opal underpinnings on accepted opinions are way over the top.

Pippi Longstocking would probally have a hard time with that.
Pollyana opining is not something I understand emotionally.

an ex-spiritual employee

Saturday, December 01, 2007

The oh sooo Likeable Lickable Liquor

So its that time of year again....... on the merry go round of life.
Merriment and merry making make the world go round.
Dont drink and decide though, the ability to reckon is rendered useless or impaired when all liquored up and puckered out.
Have a merry month.

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

November's Poinsettia's in the Park

The sun gets tired way too early these days.
At Bryant Park, the holiday festivities are in full swing on the tanning grass patch . And the merry go round is all decked out in poinsettia planters and ribbon. I should check out the holiday boutiques.
I love the holiday season and the sparkle and glitter it has to offer.
I just cant believe November 2007 is over.It was just July.
Where did all the minutes go ?

Petunia's in the Park

Seems like only yesterday,when the Bryant Park sun was finally strong enough to tan under even after work.
It radiated those strong comforting rays of warmth straight through till sunset, as the petulant petunias in clay pots did the slow dance downards,trailing towards the pavement.
I dont especially like, the bitter cold windy and rainy replacement weather.And my tan is fading faster than a spent purple petunia petal.

The sequined non-sequitur sparkling in the window

There is something so refreshing about bolts of iridescent sequins in a window wishing everyone a sparkly good morning in sparkle dust english. Other than an SSRI, It also functions as the ultimate morning, material non sequitur all showcased in window.Sidetracking fickle cubicle dwellers, dwelling on missed opportunities/ reading current blackberry to do lists or just hurrying along in a pointedly pedestrian fashion, against the early morning sunlight of just another mundane monday morning.
But as the hurried footsteps fade away into the dim lit lobbies, another successful day has begun anew, fueled for the most part by the focused rush towards absolute existential functionalism.
Who on earth wants to keep on going rigidly straight on straightlaced street to the cubicle, when you got all this sparkly material flirting at you in the window,beckoning creatively and promising opportunity,creativity,infinity,eternity and a life of sparkle and sequins.
The morning, walk in the city, towards the cubicle is sooo hard.
There is never any time to read the horoscope from the complimentary paper of the morning either. Its always good to know the personal energy forecast for the day.It seems clear, in a serendipity kind of way, that the horoscope from the paper thats handed to me personally in the morning, is the proper horoscope to guage the days relative success or failure rate off of.
How often in life do you get the morning paper handed to you just for being you ?
As for the i'm such a sucker for sequins situation.
I guess the answer for now would be the sequined panel cubicle initiative.
I've started with the first panel, its kind of inspiring and just gives the more mundane tasks that sequined starry halo when you start spacing out.
Its kind of a sequined check system making sure the focus doesnt stray very far.
Wasting minutes at work is never a good thing.
The only sidetrack trouble I still have in my morning routine, is getting past the lobby and all its holiday decor.
Its definitely a sparkle dust and colored light heart throb.
There should be allowances made for tardiness during the holiday season.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Rumination Flavored Rum & Memorable Memoirs

The Shalom Auslander is sooo my super hero writer of the week.
I loved his pieces in Nerve/Nextbook/The New Yorker and elsewhere.
His new book
Foreskins Lament sounds like quite the memorable memoir.
His unique presentation, profound opinings /sardonic perspectives are a smooth blend of trusty truisms/realistic plasticity/ soul stripping & searching/ unorthodox humor and rumination flavored rum.
Rumination flavored rum when mixed with the proper levels of profound in-depth analysis/ unhappy happenstance's of the past/,and plenty of outrageous writing talent makes for quite the quintessential must purchase memoir

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Savor the Sand Art before the Sun Shines Weak

I guess its time to do the last few sex on the beach imbibings /stoned sand dances and trippy stone steppings, before the icy cold coat of winter, renders the sun's rays weak and the warm beach weather fickle.

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

I Adore Duane Reade Drug Stores

I have a huge consumer oriented crush on Duane Reade drug stores.
For me, its that ubiquitious symbol and source of comfort and convenience .
Always open for me in my time of need.
And generally hanging out on every corner.I have my favorite ones in all parts of the city.And there are so many happy helpers on the shelves to choose from.Color shopping for happiness has never been easier.

From "wine not" ruby red nailpolish to urban fiction.
From holiday decor to heart shaped stickies, colored pushpins to digital pictures.
Early morning hot tamales, midday water or way way past midnight munchie snacks.
Drunk or sober, in club clothes/east river wear or work clothes.
Duane Reade drug store's doors are always open, even for a quick coors.NYC is awesome like that.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Rebbitzin Urban Bourbon

Happy Birthday Rebbitzin Urban Bourbon Boozin Janey ,
May your life be full of love and laughs, the kind of laughs experienced wholeheartedly in certain urban pubs with english lads that dont actually live in lofts.

Time really does run along when your imbibing with the spiritual based rums and biblical liquors........
Dont fall in or anything that rebbiztin brew can get quite intoxicating and stuff.

Sunday, September 16, 2007

The price of enlightening lanterns/prayer/hyper and joyless jostling

So aside from the contradicting connotations associated with Paying For The Ability To Pray, I havent been able to sit in a synagogue for many years mostly cuz I have "the attention span of a watermelon pit".(metaphor thanks in full to happily married ex boyfriend Sh. , who coined that phrase one night in exasperation mode)
Usually I do adderall for focusing but I've run out of it and havent been able to employ the benefits of a drugged up personality-less self for Rosh Hashanaing.
So I just managed to mouth some Aveinu Malkeinus before sunset yesterday.
I'm feeling sort of saddened that I have no spiritual strength or faith to will more prayer mouthing and or should've made the effort to listen to a shofar blowing somewhere.
My father would not approve.
I didnt even get a friendly reminder call this year, I think he gave up on my spirituality which is kinda sadder and uplifting in a religion is for rigid pea brains resistant to plasticity anyway kind of way .
He is brilliant, but never understood that his caring about my spirituality doesnt really affect my spiritual-less self much.Neither did his friendly reminder calls before major holidays and fasts.

I guess I've developed a more acute sense of disillusioned dissarray since I've been jostling my sense of spirituality around diligently and religiously and have managed to jiggle and niggle my soul to a precarious and ambiguous point of general disenchantment.Which is an annoying state of enchantment to function under.
And there are no summs of many awes creating any sense of awesome or even awe inducing.
Oh except my little baby nephew's expression when contemplating the tall patch of colorful zinnias from his little perch on the grass patch.Total unadulterated awe. And then he put his hyper/ trusting little self down to rest on my shoulders, his eyes drooping from tiredness.
Life is tiring like that, but baby nephews are adorable,I dont even need kids really.
Happy Holy Holidays !

Friday, September 07, 2007

Rabbi Urban B. Bourbon

If I had to pick a name for a rabbi I would probally choose :
"Rabbi Urban B. Bourbon" .
It just has the perfect bling bling ring to it. I also like the connotations.
Will you be my Rabbi ?

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Of Dangling Danburites/Enlightened Rhodolites and Twinkling Tanzanites

So basically we all function as rough rock, trying to fix/ facet/smooth/twinkle/dazzle and sparkle our way towards perfection.
Some have the privilege of gracing the awesome windows of ABC Carpet and Home (see above pic). Other less fortunate rock are forced to roam cubicledom dealing with insecure rock associates.
The question is what kind of rock are we pretending to twinkle/flirt/ function/aspire to inspire as and or incorporate as part of our lasting legacy.
Some Sparkling White Sapphires and Dashing Young Danburites like to pretend they are just Dazzling Diamonds in the rough.
Rambunctious Rhodolites and Blushing Garnets sometimes yearn to have the haughtiness of World Renowned Rubies.
And there are Sneaky Tanzaniques that adopt Twinkling Tanzanite as part of their namesake.
Why always that innate need to integrate and pretend/adopt the characteristics of the more well known gemstones of society.
Wouldnt it make more sense to work on faceting /fixing and or enhancing the rock you were created as, in the enviroment most conducive to personal spiritual rock growth.
Diamonds/Rubies/Emeralds and Sapphires are not the only segments of society one should aspire to belong to. Instead of the many other gemstone segments of society working so hard to belong to segments that are clearly out of spiritual reach with the more than occasional ethical breach, why not work on creating new gemstone named society segments and communities.

And or creative ways to function as the rock your were created as.
There really is no need for skeptical pink topaz to have to pretend to be sparkling pink sapphire/and definitely not twinkling pink diamonds.But that shouldnt stop skeptical pink topaz from decorating her life with twinkling pink diamonds for inner equilbrium.

And lets not forget the fun fact that "in the rough" is the new "fully faceted".
No more worries about being too rough and unrefined, you can now decorate your life around the rough edges with diamonds /sparkly sapphires/twinkling tanzanites or mature tourmaline ,enhancing the rough rock of life with the sparkly decor of your choice. I believe the core changes through spiritual gemstone osmosis or diffusion.

I pick alei shure as the pink diamonds to decorate my unrefined life as a rough piece of jaded topaz.

Friday, August 17, 2007

The Art That Is Spiritual Graffiti Studded Subway Halls & Streets

Spirituality is quite the rampant wannabe cure for urban banalism in NYC it seems.
Subway halls are adorned with messages of hope and sparkle deep into the winter.
Spiritual advisors are hawking their wares/phamphlets and new & improved bibles around every corner. Ambitious prophets and spirited saviors never tire treading up and down the streets, religiously, rounding corners with their loud messages of hope/ punishment/ hell to pay and heaven forbid.

Some set up permanent residental corners of hope on pieces of pavement and microphone their mindsets and piercing point of views 24/7.
Even Blackbird hawking person seems to be birdcalling to a spirit of another feather.
Do these people ever tire of delivering the same message of spiritual hope to the scores of oblivious /disinterested/ aloof cubicle goers and corner office dwellers doing the park for their lunch minutes.
Yesterday, an indian religion guru spent 15 minutes expounding on his philosophies and then presented me with my very own hard cover version of a new version of I forget which bible. He offered this expensive bible without even knowing if I intended to donate a nickle or a twenty.
A pure example of faith in the masses and in the G-d they are promoting .
What drives these guys to believe so hard in the philosophies they're spouting rigidly and religiously, day in and day out. Rain/ shine/ cold /aloof / clouds or humidity.
I wish I could believe so hard, in that way.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Z as in Zinnia

Life is like a seasonal garden , one minute your contemplating the tulips/daffodils/hyacinths/ perfectly pink tree blossoms in Madison Square park and before you can say z is for zinnia, the daisys and black eyed susans have started their dance around the lampost . And the perfectly potted petunias are doin the petulant trail downards towards the sidewalks of NYC.

The Iris's are spent and resting in stalks, the chrysanthymums are threatening to flower their dark brooding fall blooms, but those colorful zinnia's are coloring their way through the dog days of summers in a profusion of colorful perfection.
Never losing their hyperactive enthusiasm for all things colorful.

And blooming everywhere and in between, changing mediocre patches of space in the process.

I've spotted zinnias in pretty clay pots at the Bryant park flower shop and behind a large metal gate on a random Lexington ave corner.
I've also noticed them setting up shop in quaint summer cottages along the Jersey Shore and nestling loudly in a patch of grass near a lighthouse.
When I grow up I definitely want to be like the zinnias.

Friday, July 27, 2007

Perfectly Poised and Posing in Turquoise

There is nothing like a perfectly poised turqoise light fixture posing eloquently in a random NYC park, to help place hyperactive perspectives under a whole new light.
It just paints light fixtures and lighthouse life fixers in a whole new shade of aqua like color

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Why the dearth of really good daddy's ?
I'm not so sure that the age old religious directive to follow in the footsteps of the overly friendly fruitflies and "Be Fruitful and Multiply" everywhere, is actually a universally applicable policy and procedure thing.
Did G-d include breeding on everyones life to do list ?
Are dysfunctional fathers fixable.
Letter of the law daddys programmed to connect with no spirit in sight are about as fun and deep as letter of the figuretive law husbands that are programmed to purchase flowers every friday.

To all the really good daddies out there, especially the one's that i've come across over the years, thank you for working so hard and daddying soo good.

As much as I would love to think that Aunti-ing is the most important part of a kids life, I know good daddies are probally way more important.

OK, I also know at the end of the day there really is only one father namely G-d, that I technically should be filing my complaints/ concerns/cryings and confidings with.Its just so hard depending on Gd when the answers are just as ambiguous and or flexible as the questions.

Its easier to keep on acquiring new daddies here on earth, on an as needed basis .

Sunday, May 20, 2007

The perfect marriage ceremony

Oh my G-d Desperate Housewives is my favorite show. Other than Grays Anatomy.
Mike and Susan’s wedding with the whimsical colorful lanterns strung along on trees is perfect.Spontaneity included .
I'm definitely goin to do something along those colorful lantern lines.(my kid will come after though)
That show is soooo profound on a thousand different emotional levels.

Urban Bourbon

Urban bourbon is my favorite wordplay of the day.
There really is nothing like getting all bourbon buzzed in urban territory.Subway rides seem way more fun too and there is that whole new way of lookin at life/subway pole dancing and laughing hard with friends over subway commercials that are really not that funny.
Life is bascially a short subway ride.You can hop on and off tryin to find the right stop but at the end of the day you will hear a message similar to the end of the 2 train message ingrained in my head " this is the last stop on the train everyone please leave the train". And then you will have no choice but to leave the train and hope you did all the right things. And also hope u didnt miss the last q bus. fun times fun times.
So my new favorite quote of the day "No one dies a virgin lifes fucks us all" Kurt Cobain.
Love that concept. Promoting negativity is fun sometimes.
Anyway back to how short life is , I guess I should focus on pure purpose promoting.
Really though , why am I here , where am I going and how am I getting there. Is a husband waiting for me somewhere. Will the key charm ever start working.
Will the fluted topaz heart charm ever attract the husband I'm suppposed to marry.
Could I ever really commit to a marriage.
Do I really need to at the end of the day.
Why was I created again.
The previous self centered pieces of random thought processes have been brought to you in full by the Urban Bourbon Society for Boozing Bumstresses and dedicated to thriving through imbibing initiatives.

Saturday, May 12, 2007


So I have this whole new writer crush. I was sunning this afternoon and catchin up on a weeks worth of Wall Street Journals and Friday's Science Journal section, featured this brilliant piece really well written by Robert Lee Hotz.
"Scientists draw Link between Morality And Brain's Wiring"
is a thoroughly profound piece "drawing a direct link between the neuroanatomy of emotion and moral judgement".

My favorite part : " At this level of inquiry, the mind is a special effect generated by neurons".Trust is a measure of neuropeptide levels, while fairness is an electromagnetic pattern in the right pre-frontal cortex.Disrupt it with a strong magnet, as did University of Zurich researchers in 2006, and any sense of fair-dealing fades away like a radio station subsumed by static." Robert Lee Hotz.

Its utterly profound and scintillatingly terrific neuroscientific stuff , he is sooooo my new favorite neuroscience writer .

Sunday, May 06, 2007

Random Summations/Disconcerting Conundrums

Y are obtuse obstacles and spiritual directives generally painted in a hazy shade of ambiguous amber.
Has crystal clear clarity gone the way of the trendy pacifier necklace of years gone by.

When do one night stands become one month hooker look-alikes and one year fucked up for life aches.
Y cant I drum up enough patience to sit in one cubicle and focus on one tedious/ tired mission statement for more than three months at a time.
Y cant I love the utterly mundane, stay enchanted with the ordinary, enthralled with the obvious, interested in the less than interesting.
When will I stop running away and after everything, in no particular direction.

Will I ever get my act together long enough to understand why.
The Jaded song just started on WPLJ , serendipitous indeed.

I think its time for some early morning flavored smirnoff smoothies, for that smooth sailing pretend sensation and purely pink sunrise catching.

Friday, May 04, 2007

Life - All dressed Up in Fickle Finery and Fridays Finest

Spring is like life, mostly. One day your soul deep in enchanting mystical musings , picturesque moments, lacy pretty outlooks, Alei Shure aspirations and Kedoshim lectures and promises.
And life is a perfect sunny late April morning in Madison Square Park.
The spring intoxication does have those hangover side effects though & before you can say Groundhog day, you find ureself contemplating pits / spent cherries and abc crabapples that have abruptly taken the place of the pretty pink blossoms that must have flirted their way through life till they hit mud. While you were blissfully tanning through the branches.
You notice that the ethereal lacy picturesque moments have become mundane summer tree moments. The pretty petals fade pretty fast into the windblown path of perpetual spiritual bliss.Scattering all the petals of unanswered questions and quests along in flutterlike fashion like little petulant flower girls
Life's fickle like that.

Thursday, May 03, 2007

Think Pink

Never ignore an opportunity to laugh/cry/learn/give/embrace/connect/love/hug and or photograph Madison Square Park in its fickle lace spring finery.Especially on a fine sunny workday afternoon.

Tuesday, May 01, 2007

Blackberryed Irish Brilliance Sparkling on Bathroom Stall Wall

My starry eyed divine inspiration and intervention for this tedious Tuesday came unpackaged via this Irish gem sparkling with innate wisdom (I wish i knew the author). It landed in my blackberry inbox in the wee early afternoon hours. Thanks in full to exceedingly erudite and astoundingly astute Ryan who photographed & blackberryed this piece of bathroom humor, after coming across the poetic piece in a bathroom stall.
It just puts the tedious, the tacky, the tasky , the pesky, the picturesque and the sappy happy happenstancings .... all in their proper and respective perspectives.
If I only knew how to paint with colors like Ambiguous Gray , Wtf White and G-d are you listening Green, Y me Magenta, Already Been Screwed That Way Sage,Cubicle Lover Coral, Plan ahead Purple, or Stop & Think Pink...... life would not be such an iridescent mess of rainbow opal colors.
Running around and off the edges. Like aimless energy and runaway tears running amok and short circuiting along on the wayward neuronal circuitry tracks .....in no particular order or picture.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Merry Un-Moppable Myopic Moping

My favorite wordcombo of the morning is- myopic moping. Moping does have those subtle mystic yet myopic connotations and subtexts. Sort of like brooding, but brooding sometimes excudes an intellectual kind of aura/borderline brilliance based. Brooding also generally presents as a valid /self explanatory and logically erudite emotional conclusion to a sequence of events.Moping on the other hand has that dopey/myopic image problem. Like, nothing some fresh scent clorox wipes cant clean from the molding moping memory banks.
I think both are intellectually based emotional pursuits that should be pursued often for a refreshing emotional/mind makeover.
Merry Moping !
Update :my favorite word combo now in a sentence : A merry morning or month messily muddied by moments of un-moppable myopic mopings/musty musings & misty based mysticism.

Religious Nuance/ Neurons /Neuroplasticity & New Knowledge

So my question for this thirsty thursday morning, does neuroscience and religion have any kind of intimate relationship thing goin on. Or is it strictly that dualism deal. Or like a platonic relationship with perks and potential ie; sleep together in the same ethical/ moral bed, hug often in the spirit of spirituality and friendly friendship connection thing but .......no all the way.Unless either neuroscience or religion gets too drunk to know otherwise and then its little neuro-religious junior junkies running around. Anyway........

Slate has some profound new neuroscience pieces . Train Your Mind Change Your Brain is actually a fascinating book. Its basically a collaboration of buddhism and neuroscience. Do any other religions enhance/interact or allow for neurocientific discoveries/ conclusions /erroneous assumptions/ false impressions/profound realizations/ misconceptions /notions /valid conclusions/messing with the personality/fixing the personality. Or at least offer some sort of spiritual directive on this neuroscientific stuff. Like its ok to re-route some of the neuronal circuitry system routes and program the impulse control or free will parts to mimic Mother Theresa's sense of altruism or Palti Ben Layish's sexual discipline as long as you keep the general laws. Its back to the same question of if i could tweak my brain to react accordingly how does free will fit in here and all those promises of heaven and the afterlife for those that do sin . And a toasty place in hell for the merry sinners.

Monday, April 23, 2007

Spring on a Heady Hangover Sunday

As I trudged drunkily past the scintillating scents of spring,the pastel colored hyacinths in crooked lines of swerving forward . And traipsed trippily right past the pretty in merry colors tulip patches. Missing many opportunities to jump up in hyper happy spirits celebrating the white lacy branches of flowering trees flirting in the wayward wind. In addition to being delirious and oblivious to the daffy daffodils strutting their yellow blooms and stuff. And instead spending part of a perfectly pretty sunday afternoon time puking my excess adderall and alcohol imbibing up in the bathroom. It was at that very long string of sunday afternoon seconds that I just knew. I just new that at the end of the day or night it was all worth it.

Yeah as sappy as that sounds.
And who are you to judge what sort of sappy happy happenstance, I choose to flavor my syrupy life of maple sugar moments with.

This piece of random poetry has been brought to you in part by the "Hangover Foundation for Getting Over". And is dedicated to the undulating waves of innate nausea that threatened to knock me out right on top of those pretty tulip patches /clay pots of hyacinths and daffodils/and right under those lacy white cherry tree blossoms.

Also, G-d, I know ure pulling the strings, will you ever stop just letting go in the middle of nowhere. I dont need to be reminded of how much a pre-programmed puppet named predestination, I really am. Even when I pretend I dont.

Cheers/Hugs and Happy Spring Imbibing and embracing. There is nothing like the pure and unadulterated comfort of a long embrace.
Sooo comforting under the comforters.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

Jadedism Judaism and Jade Lounging

My artfully tart and tartfully artsy blackberry retorting buddy spotted this depressingly impressive cornerstone of Jadedism on a random NYC street corner, One fine work day when we were soul deep in repentence/religion related conversationing. And then artfully proceeded to photograph this jaggedly spent Jade Lounge all decked out in splintered panels and withered wood in varying hues of musty maple/rusty rail and bitterly brown.(redundant usage of said picture for reiteration purposes only) Its radiating the kind of jadedism, I hope I never confront alone in a dark myopic moment, even if I have to.

Sunday, April 15, 2007

Dancing with Determinism/Prancing with Predestination/ Flirting with Fatalism and Free Will

So Aside from issues like is there a G-d and how many ..... and the endless debates on mind over matter -dualism/monism/materialism/determinism/causality/free will/mental force/volition/meditation/neuroplasticity/medication/psychotherapy........Neuroscientific discoveries in general keep promoting new debates /questions and disconcerting contradictions and cloudy conclusions .

Between the ancient neuroscientific discoveries that are constantly being fine tuned /perfected and new ones constantly discovered , one can basically tweak the parts of the brain directly related to fear/logic/ reasoning/ free will/ choice/impulse /pain and so many other parts of personality.

So fiddling around with the prefrontal cortex and free will /will and related activities, ok according to fatalism would probally have no effect on end result. According to determinism the fiddling would probally just be part of that complex causality theory. According to predestination and Judaism specifically pirkei avot - "everything is predestined but freedom of will is given".
So is tweaking the chemical levels that would affect free will physically on a prefrontal cortex or other brain part level is that considered an extension of general free will or overstepping those nebulous spiritual boundaries into flirting with fate and messing with mysticism territory.

Even basic elementary concepts like our purpose in life is to avoid sin and do acts of kindness and that whole free will versus preprogrammed concept doesnt make much sense if we can tweak our brains to react accordingly.Whether through mental force/meditation/ medication or surgery.
If an individual with an overactive sex drive and too many partners takes a personality dulling dose of stimulants to eliminate excess sexual neediness is there credit issued for discipline of which the actual neediness was eliminated?

What about religious discipline and adherence due to chemical fixing/medicating. Why would credit be given if there is no challenge involved.
Are preprogrammed robots rewarded for their fine sense of cognitive choice and decisions.How about robots that are fixed ?

Lets not forget about those SSRI's and stimulants that really mess with personality. Personality pruning is not as simple as it presents.

At what point does free will mess with frivolous free for all and flirting with fatalism.

Sunday, April 08, 2007

Less than Lucid Elucidations on Spring Sensations

So Spring this year feels like a series of random focused snapshots /sensory disconnect sensations/lucid elucidations/cloudy conclusions/processing errors/tedious tasks/ rusty realizations/ colorful photographs and the occasional fun wordplay neatly scattered, wordlessly in the scrapbook of life.Bound barely with thinning threads of spent personality/ chance/luck and irony. One frayed photograph at a time. Framed cynically in a whimsical shade of sparkle, with the settled glitter and sparkle dust of happenstance gone by. Displayed by default in no particular order.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

Brain Taffy/Mending the Mind/Re-Bending The Pliable Perspectives of Dyslexic Reality

I think everyone should take a summer sabbatical from cubicledom and just spend the days roller coaster riding/ sunning/roadtripping/laughing/ photographing (see above pic for ethereal ABC Carpet and Home Autumn window) and finding the color and sparkle in hum drum daily living.
Its actually a necessity for those blessed with second hand brains.
Second hand brains are annoying and sprain easily especially in dim colorless cubicles . They often read objectives/missions statements/ reality/directives/goals/ obligations /change and related activities in dyslexic english with lateral subtexts and nary a linear connotation in sight.

I guess there's lots of good stuff out there if one is in need of some brain tweaking taffy, cortex correcting candy, serotonin levels fixing sugar or some rum for a reality check.

Clinically speaking, there's actually a plethora of magic powders (md approved) for dulling or re-arranging emotional pain in neat, channeled, linear sequential thought processes ,carefully encapsulated in colorful capsules. Other happy r us helpers include those baby blue tablets for tears that are running too often & bubble gum pink tablets for creating one's own personalized hum drum skinny existence out of hyperactive energies running amok .
So you can function all skinny in your new focused hum drum existence.

For the splintered minds and fractured souls , a simple M-tab will melt away the divides and fix the perpetual picture of reality ....constantly photographed in split format.And then u got the Glitter gel caps that help capture the joy of a chemically balanced living, and all sorts of pleasure seeking and pleasing pills for swallowing the bitter pain of raw/ uncensored emotions clogging the arteries of emotional health.
And then there's always the controversial Ecstacy for connection enhancing ,channelling of the energies towards the acute stages of unadulterated ecstacy.Fabricating fickle moments of euphoria has never been so easy.

The problem with second hand brains though is that at best they are decidedly predictably unpredictable .And have everything to do with the ever increasing disadvantages the end user is generally challenged with from core visual and emotional processing errors to endless sources of rampant energy running amok.

Basically its like giving Jittery Jade a thoroughly researched personlized Ritalin or Adderall dose to follow daily and giving Hyperactive Crystal a hodge podge of natural stimulants like Focus Factor/Caffeine/Red Bull/diet pills to fabricate some focus with. Jittery Jade will probally have a better life mission statement worked out.Hyper Crystal will think about her mission statement every now and then .... but will probally spend most of her life trying to get her energy channeled properly using second hand OTC assistance.

Is the brain that cant reckon good, responsible for the day of reckoning or does G-d accept the recalls.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Prancing High Horses and Holy Horse Shit

So I recently received this small manila envelope from an anonymous sender.
Folded neatly inside was a sanctimoniously laced apology/forgiveness seeking message sprinkled liberally with bullshit/ biblical quotings & preachy directives ,typed tackily on fake floral stationary with the occasional big word .
Oh and a Chofetz Chaim lecture neatly tucked in.
Apparently, some individuals aka "caring classmate" from my religious high school have decided to do a
a mass appology/seek forgiveness mailing with a light unto the nation theme .

My thoughts :

A) Remove my name from your sanctimonious mailing list immediately.
1)You guys really dont change - contrary to your personal beliefs ,the world does not revolve around you and your holy projects and light unto the nation themes , please get off your religious high horses and clean up your own holy horse shit. I personally have long deleted any files associated with that despicable poor excuse for a high school, as such your names are not recognized in my current database of people I associate with/think about or forgive.
2) Typing tackily on fake floral stationary is not ok for this sort of mass mailing apology/forgiveness seeking project
3) Why are you sending me chofetz chaim lectures- clearly you should be listening to them yourself.
4) You guys still make me puke with your everpresent sanctimonious bullshit even after quite a few long years.

My suggestion to you and your droopy friends in sad states, stop suggesting what others should be doing, reading, listening to, who they should be forgiving and what they should be thinking about.
Start with yourselves, the first step is awareness - awareness that you are absolutley NOT G-ds gift to judaism. Even if you know way more navi than me and dress like nuns with no sense of fashion. Then start reciting the Iggeres Haramban every day and actually listen to
the message.

Oh and dont send me stuff ,ever. I clearly have no use for your personal updates or the preachy directives prancing out of your pious projects.To be precise, they are puke inducing. Just so you know.

Winterberry Wonder

Before I start giving the utterly ethereal /flirty/flowering spring trees my undivided attention, I think those pretty cherry red winterberry trees deserve some color recognition.
I think they should definitely be given some sort of best use of color award for persistently promoting color and cheer in the dreariest/ bleakest and bitterest of situations.

Think Pink

I actually encountered this ethereal think pink flowering tree one warm Saturday back in January at Riverside Park .

Dont Fall In

Yeah , those slushy NYC street corners are quite conniving with their "pretend surfaceyness" but they will so "deep slush" you, when you least expect it.
Over and over again actually, until you learn to sidestep the corners and walk in circuitious routes avoiding all potential deep slush pit corners.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Tedious Tuesday's To Do List

Tuesday's Tasks:
Pop Adderall.
Recite the Iggeres Haramban letter and spend 10 minutes of precious morning commute time communicating lofty thoughts and caring altruistic prayers to
(In the faithful hopes of ensuring successful completion of today's cubicle curriculum schedule.)If you pray for others the altruistic energies boomerang right back supposedly, though this should not be the intial intention probally but its always good to practice altruism.
Arrive ten minutes early to work to override consistent bad habit of latecomings.
Work hard, stay focused all day.Pop Adderall often. There's nothing like feel good focus helper.
Those candy boxes of days gone by just never heard of Adderall ."Dope" is not everything.
Though with the Adderall, sometimes I feel like my personality is on vacation. I'm not sure whats more important, sitting focused and working hard or having a personality.It would be lovely to have both .I guess G-d wasnt in a good mood that day when he was putting my brain togethor
Tan tenaciously during all 30 minutes of lunch time.Arrive (outside on next street with public outdoor furniture) early , for best view of snatches of sun between tall buildings.
Sun-dream of winning many different jewelry design awards simultaneously.
With a heavily concerted focus on that best use of color and design category.
Arrange weekend hyper-happy sparkle and glitter party for nieces.
Purchase seasons pass to Six Flags.
Pop more Adderall.
Plan a garden
Contemplate going Greyhound or cruising on the Crescent
Decide that responsiblity comes first as does committment and all related fun words not related to runaway.
And that should probally be it for another day in the life of a "Groundhog Day"
Tea for Tuesday anyone ?

Monday, March 26, 2007

Pondering at Peculiar Pub

Peculiar Pub is the perfect place to ponder perplexing stuff with friends.
I've sorted out lots of complicated stuff over these tables.
I've also done alot of listening to others here.
There's something about alcohol that makes listening a whole lot easier.
"Time really does fly when ure havin rum"
For the rest of the time though there's Adderall.
Life short though, and times a wastin.
The question is what the fuck should I really be doin with the time.
Its soooo hard getting up every morning and just goin for another Groundhog day. Hopping on to a Greyhound at Port Authority is always tempting.
As is boarding the Crescent to New Orleans at Penn Station.
Or even that Vermont Train.- I should really live for the moment - the snow is melting .......
I keep forgetting why I need to be working so hard and for what and how long, how many when/ where and how often.
I dislike mornings, any morning.
Especially Moody Monday Mornings though.
And then you got the whole Tedious Tuesday ahead of you, YaY.
Wimpy Wednesday is right around the corner all mediocre and neither here nor there really just spacing out in middle of the week.
Thirsty Thursday is the day you should be looking forward to though.
And Sunny Saturdays at the shore.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

The Joys of Rejoicing

Random Stuff To Rejoice About, In No Particular Order :
Chandelier touring at ABC Carpet and Home (see above pic).
My Fixed Blackberry.
Bon Jovi’s new song.
My Nieces and Nephews .
Grays Anatomy.
Adderall .
Spring .
Flowering Trees .
Sharon Begley's new book .
My Comprehensive Shotglass Collection .
The plethora of men that want to sleep with me.
The fun fact that I’m still at the same cubicle and it’s been a month!
I LOVE MY JOB !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Amusement parks are opening their pearly gates of fun in less than a month!
Persons of the unadulterated altruism persuasion, that dispense focus and care.
The magic charm of the Iggeres Haramban letter.

And then there is the rustic everyday reality that just overrides stuff, alot of stuff by rusty default. The kind of rustic reality that you just cant build charming cottages with quaint front porch perspectives out of. Its more like those bitterly abandoned sheds with barely an ounce of self respecting paint left..... just spacing out at the edge of large properties not likely to be influenced by optimistic gardens and flowers. Maybe a windowsill garden though and a charming crystal chandelier or six .

When life hands you a glass ..........

When life hands you a glass, go for the flower gazing in a glass vase motif.
It generally works better than alcohol and related liquids (even lemonade) in providing/ perpetuating persistent optimsim and other fundamentals of faith.
Especially in the morning.
Go ahead, make Pollyana proud- she's definitely smiling smugly in Pollyana heaven.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Fixing the Focus/Crocuses and the Crux of the matter

Life is mostly all about the focus.Experiencing the cold harsh winter in all its fickle finery , faithfully until the cows come home/the snow/hail stops sleeting and the pretty in flirty purple crocuses come out to play.I wish I knew how to fix the focus though.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Steel Structure Systems/Tulips and Lips

So today I'd like to thank G-d for spring , flowers , bulbs ,zinnias, roses,tulips, cosmos, petunias, color /flirty flowering trees and related floral activity . (See last years tulips in NYC pic above for imagery purposes only).(Always live in the past..... it helps perpetuate the fun in dysfunctional...& under a whole new light).
There definitely is nothing like Spring, for the perfect distraction.A whole new flowering slate of color/optimism and all things Pollyana oriented.
Oh , And thank G-d for steel structure systems that keeps things in check when the colorful go hyper and start coloring everything an iridescent shade of disarray.
Sometimes we dont know why we have steel bars hampering our growth and painting everything a rigid shade of metallic grey.
Other times we dont know either.
I guess thats why we have the lips..... for verbal accolading , gracious gratituding ,faithful(less) thanking and related activities.

Like thanking G-d for the good, the bad, and the ambiguous.

Back to last years tulips though ....are they doing a way better growth thing with the rigid steel check system here in NYC ?
Would they be better off in a runaway field in some rural part of Holland or would they just end up in a Ruby Red ABC Carpet & Home vase spacing out on a funky pink glass desk.
Or are they merrily making the most of their pretty little short tulip lives stifled and blooming in neat rows of strict color and artful rigidness.

I've always wondered what the best way is to grow as a tulip / zinnia /cosmo or any flower. Is the flower supposed to conform to the garden or do you create the garden to conform to the flower.What about wildflowers are they supposed to change gardens and scenery every 2-3 weeks.

Did I mention I love love love love love love love flowers .