Of Dangling Danburites/Enlightened Rhodolites and Twinkling Tanzanites

So basically we all function as rough rock, trying to fix/ facet/smooth/twinkle/dazzle and sparkle our way towards perfection.
Some have the privilege of gracing the awesome windows of ABC Carpet and Home (see above pic). Other less fortunate rock are forced to roam cubicledom dealing with insecure rock associates.
The question is what kind of rock are we pretending to twinkle/flirt/ function/aspire to inspire as and or incorporate as part of our lasting legacy.
Some Sparkling White Sapphires and Dashing Young Danburites like to pretend they are just Dazzling Diamonds in the rough.
Rambunctious Rhodolites and Blushing Garnets sometimes yearn to have the haughtiness of World Renowned Rubies.
And there are Sneaky Tanzaniques that adopt Twinkling Tanzanite as part of their namesake.
Why always that innate need to integrate and pretend/adopt the characteristics of the more well known gemstones of society.
Wouldnt it make more sense to work on faceting /fixing and or enhancing the rock you were created as, in the enviroment most conducive to personal spiritual rock growth.
Diamonds/Rubies/Emeralds and Sapphires are not the only segments of society one should aspire to belong to. Instead of the many other gemstone segments of society working so hard to belong to segments that are clearly out of spiritual reach with the more than occasional ethical breach, why not work on creating new gemstone named society segments and communities.

And or creative ways to function as the rock your were created as.
There really is no need for skeptical pink topaz to have to pretend to be sparkling pink sapphire/and definitely not twinkling pink diamonds.But that shouldnt stop skeptical pink topaz from decorating her life with twinkling pink diamonds for inner equilbrium.

And lets not forget the fun fact that "in the rough" is the new "fully faceted".
No more worries about being too rough and unrefined, you can now decorate your life around the rough edges with diamonds /sparkly sapphires/twinkling tanzanites or mature tourmaline ,enhancing the rough rock of life with the sparkly decor of your choice. I believe the core changes through spiritual gemstone osmosis or diffusion.

I pick alei shure as the pink diamonds to decorate my unrefined life as a rough piece of jaded topaz.

The Art That Is Spiritual Graffiti Studded Subway Halls & Streets

Spirituality is quite the rampant wannabe cure for urban banalism in NYC it seems.
Subway halls are adorned with messages of hope and sparkle deep into the winter.
Spiritual advisors are hawking their wares/phamphlets and new & improved bibles around every corner. Ambitious prophets and spirited saviors never tire treading up and down the streets, religiously, rounding corners with their loud messages of hope/ punishment/ hell to pay and heaven forbid.
Some set up permanent residental corners of hope on pieces of pavement and microphone their mindsets and piercing point of views 24/7.
Even Blackbird hawking person seems to be birdcalling to a spirit of another feather.
Do these people ever tire of delivering the same message of spiritual hope to the scores of oblivious /disinterested/ aloof cubicle goers and corner office dwellers doing the park for their lunch minutes.
Yesterday, an indian religion guru spent 15 minutes expounding on his philosophies and then presented me with my very own hard cover version of a new version of I forget which bible. He offered this expensive bible without even knowing if I intended to donate a nickle or a twenty.
A pure example of faith in the masses and in the G-d they are promoting .
What drives these guys to believe so hard in the philosophies they're spouting rigidly and religiously, day in and day out. Rain/ shine/ cold /aloof / clouds or humidity.
I wish I could believe so hard, in that way.

Z as in Zinnia

Life is like a seasonal garden , one minute your contemplating the tulips/daffodils/hyacinths/ perfectly pink tree blossoms in Madison Square park and before you can say z is for zinnia, the daisys and black eyed susans have started their dance around the lampost . And the perfectly potted petunias are doin the petulant trail downards towards the sidewalks of NYC.

The Iris's are spent and resting in stalks, the chrysanthymums are threatening to flower their dark brooding fall blooms, but those colorful zinnia's are coloring their way through the dog days of summers in a profusion of colorful perfection.
Never losing their hyperactive enthusiasm for all things colorful.
And blooming everywhere and in between, changing mediocre patches of space in the process.

I've spotted zinnias in pretty clay pots at the Bryant park flower shop and behind a large metal gate on a random Lexington ave corner.
I've also noticed them setting up shop in quaint summer cottages along the Jersey Shore and nestling loudly in a patch of grass near a lighthouse.
When I grow up I definitely want to be like the zinnias.

Perfectly Poised and Posing in Turquoise

There is nothing like a perfectly poised turqoise light fixture posing eloquently in a random NYC park, to help place hyperactive perspectives under a whole new light.

It just paints light fixtures and lighthouse life fixers in a whole new shade of aqua like color

Why the dearth of really good daddy's ?
I'm not so sure that the age old religious directive to follow in the footsteps of the overly friendly fruitflies and "Be Fruitful and Multiply" everywhere, is actually a universally applicable policy and procedure thing.
Did G-d include breeding on everyones life to do list ?
Are dysfunctional fathers fixable.
Letter of the law daddys programmed to connect with no spirit in sight are about as fun and deep as letter of the figuretive law husbands that are programmed to purchase flowers every friday.

To all the really good daddies out there, especially the one's that i've come across over the years, thank you for working so hard and daddying soo good.

As much as I would love to think that Aunti-ing is the most important part of a kids life, I know good daddies are probally way more important.

OK, I also know at the end of the day there really is only one father namely G-d, that I technically should be filing my complaints/ concerns/cryings and confidings with.Its just so hard depending on Gd when the answers are just as ambiguous and or flexible as the questions.

Its easier to keep on acquiring new daddies here on earth, on an as needed basis .

The perfect marriage ceremony

Oh my G-d Desperate Housewives is my favorite show. Other than Grays Anatomy.
Mike and Susan’s wedding with the whimsical colorful lanterns strung along on trees is perfect.Spontaneity included .
I'm definitely goin to do something along those colorful lantern lines.(my kid will come after though)
That show is soooo profound on a thousand different emotional levels.

Urban Bourbon

Urban bourbon is my favorite wordplay of the day.
There really is nothing like getting all bourbon buzzed in urban territory.Subway rides seem way more fun too and there is that whole new way of lookin at life/subway pole dancing and laughing hard with friends over subway commercials that are really not that funny.
Life is bascially a short subway ride.You can hop on and off tryin to find the right stop but at the end of the day you will hear a message similar to the end of the 2 train message ingrained in my head " this is the last stop on the train everyone please leave the train". And then you will have no choice but to leave the train and hope you did all the right things. And also hope u didnt miss the last q bus. fun times fun times.
So my new favorite quote of the day "No one dies a virgin lifes fucks us all" Kurt Cobain.
Love that concept. Promoting negativity is fun sometimes.
Anyway back to how short life is , I guess I should focus on pure purpose promoting.
Really though , why am I here , where am I going and how am I getting there. Is a husband waiting for me somewhere. Will the key charm ever start working.
Will the fluted topaz heart charm ever attract the husband I'm suppposed to marry.
Could I ever really commit to a marriage.
Do I really need to at the end of the day.
Why was I created again.
The previous self centered pieces of random thought processes have been brought to you in full by the Urban Bourbon Society for Boozing Bumstresses and dedicated to thriving through imbibing initiatives.

Oral/Moral/Written/Wired

So I have this whole new writer crush. I was sunning this afternoon and catchin up on a weeks worth of Wall Street Journals and Friday's Science Journal section, featured this brilliant piece really well written by Robert Lee Hotz.

"Scientists draw Link between Morality And Brain's Wiring"
is a thoroughly profound piece "drawing a direct link between the neuroanatomy of emotion and moral judgement".

My favorite part : " At this level of inquiry, the mind is a special effect generated by neurons".Trust is a measure of neuropeptide levels, while fairness is an electromagnetic pattern in the right pre-frontal cortex.Disrupt it with a strong magnet, as did University of Zurich researchers in 2006, and any sense of fair-dealing fades away like a radio station subsumed by static." Robert Lee Hotz.

Its utterly profound and scintillatingly terrific neuroscientific stuff , he is sooooo my new favorite neuroscience writer .

Random Summations/Disconcerting Conundrums

Y are obtuse obstacles and spiritual directives generally painted in a hazy shade of ambiguous amber.
Has crystal clear clarity gone the way of the trendy pacifier necklace of years gone by.
When do one night stands become one month hooker look-alikes and one year fucked up for life aches.
Y cant I drum up enough patience to sit in one cubicle and focus on one tedious/ tired mission statement for more than three months at a time.
Y cant I love the utterly mundane, stay enchanted with the ordinary, enthralled with the obvious, interested in the less than interesting.
When will I stop running away and after everything, in no particular direction.
Will I ever get my act together long enough to understand why.
The Jaded song just started on WPLJ , serendipitous indeed.
I think its time for some early morning flavored smirnoff smoothies, for that smooth sailing pretend sensation and purely pink sunrise catching.

Life - All dressed Up in Fickle Finery and Fridays Finest

Spring is like life, mostly. One day your soul deep in enchanting mystical musings , picturesque moments, lacy pretty outlooks, Alei Shure aspirations and Kedoshim lectures and promises.
And life is a perfect sunny late April morning in Madison Square Park.
The spring intoxication does have those hangover side effects though & before you can say Groundhog day, you find ureself contemplating pits / spent cherries and abc crabapples that have abruptly taken the place of the pretty pink blossoms that must have flirted their way through life till they hit mud. While you were blissfully tanning through the branches.
You notice that the ethereal lacy picturesque moments have become mundane summer tree moments. The pretty petals fade pretty fast into the windblown path of perpetual spiritual bliss.Scattering all the petals of unanswered questions and quests along in flutterlike fashion like little petulant flower girls
Life's fickle like that.

Think Pink

Never ignore an opportunity to laugh/cry/learn/give/embrace/connect/love/hug and or photograph Madison Square Park in its fickle lace spring finery.Especially on a fine sunny workday afternoon.

Blackberryed Irish Brilliance Sparkling on Bathroom Stall Wall

My starry eyed divine inspiration and intervention for this tedious Tuesday came unpackaged via this Irish gem sparkling with innate wisdom (I wish i knew the author). It landed in my blackberry inbox in the wee early afternoon hours. Thanks in full to exceedingly erudite and astoundingly astute Ryan who photographed & blackberryed this piece of bathroom humor, after coming across the poetic piece in a bathroom stall.

It just puts the tedious, the tacky, the tasky , the pesky, the picturesque and the sappy happy happenstancings .... all in their proper and respective perspectives.

If I only knew how to paint with colors like Ambiguous Gray , Wtf White and G-d are you listening Green, Y me Magenta, Already Been Screwed That Way Sage,Cubicle Lover Coral, Plan ahead Purple, or Stop & Think Pink...... life would not be such an iridescent mess of rainbow opal colors.

Running around and off the edges. Like aimless energy and runaway tears running amok and short circuiting along on the wayward neuronal circuitry tracks .....in no particular order or picture.

Merry Un-Moppable Myopic Moping

My favorite wordcombo of the morning is- myopic moping. Moping does have those subtle mystic yet myopic connotations and subtexts. Sort of like brooding, but brooding sometimes excudes an intellectual kind of aura/borderline brilliance based. Brooding also generally presents as a valid /self explanatory and logically erudite emotional conclusion to a sequence of events.Moping on the other hand has that dopey/myopic image problem. Like, nothing some fresh scent clorox wipes cant clean from the molding moping memory banks.
I think both are intellectually based emotional pursuits that should be pursued often for a refreshing emotional/mind makeover.
Merry Moping !
Update :my favorite word combo now in a sentence : A merry morning or month messily muddied by moments of un-moppable myopic mopings/musty musings & misty based mysticism.

Religious Nuance/ Neurons /Neuroplasticity & New Knowledge

So my question for this thirsty thursday morning, does neuroscience and religion have any kind of intimate relationship thing goin on. Or is it strictly that dualism deal. Or like a platonic relationship with perks and potential ie; sleep together in the same ethical/ moral bed, hug often in the spirit of spirituality and friendly friendship connection thing but .......no all the way.Unless either neuroscience or religion gets too drunk to know otherwise and then its little neuro-religious junior junkies running around. Anyway........

Slate has some profound new neuroscience pieces . Train Your Mind Change Your Brain is actually a fascinating book. Its basically a collaboration of buddhism and neuroscience. Do any other religions enhance/interact or allow for neurocientific discoveries/ conclusions /erroneous assumptions/ false impressions/profound realizations/ misconceptions /notions /valid conclusions/messing with the personality/fixing the personality. Or at least offer some sort of spiritual directive on this neuroscientific stuff. Like its ok to re-route some of the neuronal circuitry system routes and program the impulse control or free will parts to mimic Mother Theresa's sense of altruism or Palti Ben Layish's sexual discipline as long as you keep the general laws. Its back to the same question of if i could tweak my brain to react accordingly how does free will fit in here and all those promises of heaven and the afterlife for those that do sin . And a toasty place in hell for the merry sinners.

Spring on a Heady Hangover Sunday

As I trudged drunkily past the scintillating scents of spring,the pastel colored hyacinths in crooked lines of swerving forward . And traipsed trippily right past the pretty in merry colors tulip patches. Missing many opportunities to jump up in hyper happy spirits celebrating the white lacy branches of flowering trees flirting in the wayward wind. In addition to being delirious and oblivious to the daffy daffodils strutting their yellow blooms and stuff. And instead spending part of a perfectly pretty sunday afternoon time puking my excess adderall and alcohol imbibing up in the bathroom. It was at that very long string of sunday afternoon seconds that I just knew. I just new that at the end of the day or night it was all worth it.

Yeah as sappy as that sounds.
And who are you to judge what sort of sappy happy happenstance, I choose to flavor my syrupy life of maple sugar moments with.

This piece of random poetry has been brought to you in part by the "Hangover Foundation for Getting Over". And is dedicated to the undulating waves of innate nausea that threatened to knock me out right on top of those pretty tulip patches /clay pots of hyacinths and daffodils/and right under those lacy white cherry tree blossoms.

Also, G-d, I know ure pulling the strings, will you ever stop just letting go in the middle of nowhere. I dont need to be reminded of how much a pre-programmed puppet named predestination, I really am. Even when I pretend I dont.

Cheers/Hugs and Happy Spring Imbibing and embracing. There is nothing like the pure and unadulterated comfort of a long embrace.
Sooo comforting under the comforters.

Jadedism Judaism and Jade Lounging

My artfully tart and tartfully artsy blackberry retorting buddy spotted this depressingly impressive cornerstone of Jadedism on a random NYC street corner, One fine work day when we were soul deep in repentence/religion related conversationing. And then artfully proceeded to photograph this jaggedly spent Jade Lounge all decked out in splintered panels and withered wood in varying hues of musty maple/rusty rail and bitterly brown.(redundant usage of said picture for reiteration purposes only) Its radiating the kind of jadedism, I hope I never confront alone in a dark myopic moment, even if I have to.

Dancing with Determinism/Prancing with Predestination/ Flirting with Fatalism and Free Will

So Aside from issues like is there a G-d and how many ..... and the endless debates on mind over matter -dualism/monism/materialism/determinism/causality/free will/mental force/volition/meditation/neuroplasticity/medication/psychotherapy........Neuroscientific discoveries in general keep promoting new debates /questions and disconcerting contradictions and cloudy conclusions .

Between the ancient neuroscientific discoveries that are constantly being fine tuned /perfected and new ones constantly discovered , one can basically tweak the parts of the brain directly related to fear/logic/ reasoning/ free will/ choice/impulse /pain and so many other parts of personality.

So fiddling around with the prefrontal cortex and free will /will and related activities, ok according to fatalism would probally have no effect on end result. According to determinism the fiddling would probally just be part of that complex causality theory. According to predestination and Judaism specifically pirkei avot - "everything is predestined but freedom of will is given".
So is tweaking the chemical levels that would affect free will physically on a prefrontal cortex or other brain part level is that considered an extension of general free will or overstepping those nebulous spiritual boundaries into flirting with fate and messing with mysticism territory.

Even basic elementary concepts like our purpose in life is to avoid sin and do acts of kindness and that whole free will versus preprogrammed concept doesnt make much sense if we can tweak our brains to react accordingly.Whether through mental force/meditation/ medication or surgery.
If an individual with an overactive sex drive and too many partners takes a personality dulling dose of stimulants to eliminate excess sexual neediness is there credit issued for discipline of which the actual neediness was eliminated?

What about religious discipline and adherence due to chemical fixing/medicating. Why would credit be given if there is no challenge involved.
Are preprogrammed robots rewarded for their fine sense of cognitive choice and decisions.How about robots that are fixed ?

Lets not forget about those SSRI's and stimulants that really mess with personality. Personality pruning is not as simple as it presents.

At what point does free will mess with frivolous free for all and flirting with fatalism.

Less than Lucid Elucidations on Spring Sensations

So Spring this year feels like a series of random focused snapshots /sensory disconnect sensations/lucid elucidations/cloudy conclusions/processing errors/tedious tasks/ rusty realizations/ colorful photographs and the occasional fun wordplay neatly scattered, wordlessly in the scrapbook of life.Bound barely with thinning threads of spent personality/ chance/luck and irony. One frayed photograph at a time. Framed cynically in a whimsical shade of sparkle, with the settled glitter and sparkle dust of happenstance gone by. Displayed by default in no particular order.

Brain Taffy/Mending the Mind/Re-Bending The Pliable Perspectives of Dyslexic Reality

I think everyone should take a summer sabbatical from cubicledom and just spend the days roller coaster riding/ sunning/roadtripping/laughing/ photographing (see above pic for ethereal ABC Carpet and Home Autumn window) and finding the color and sparkle in hum drum daily living.

Its actually a necessity for those blessed with second hand brains.

Second hand brains are annoying and sprain easily especially in dim colorless cubicles . They often read objectives/missions statements/ reality/directives/goals/ obligations /change and related activities in dyslexic english with lateral subtexts and nary a linear connotation in sight.

I guess there's lots of good stuff out there if one is in need of some brain tweaking taffy, cortex correcting candy, serotonin levels fixing sugar or some rum for a reality check.

Clinically speaking, there's actually a plethora of magic powders (md approved) for dulling or re-arranging emotional pain in neat, channeled, linear sequential thought processes ,carefully encapsulated in colorful capsules. Other happy r us helpers include those baby blue tablets for tears that are running too often & bubble gum pink tablets for creating one's own personalized hum drum skinny existence out of hyperactive energies running amok .

So you can function all skinny in your new focused hum drum existence.

For the splintered minds and fractured souls , a simple M-tab will melt away the divides and fix the perpetual picture of reality ....constantly photographed in split format.And then u got the Glitter gel caps that help capture the joy of a chemically balanced living, and all sorts of pleasure seeking and pleasing pills for swallowing the bitter pain of raw/ uncensored emotions clogging the arteries of emotional health.

And then there's always the controversial Ecstacy for connection enhancing ,channelling of the energies towards the acute stages of unadulterated ecstacy.Fabricating fickle moments of euphoria has never been so easy.

The problem with second hand brains though is that at best they are decidedly predictably unpredictable .And have everything to do with the ever increasing disadvantages the end user is generally challenged with from core visual and emotional processing errors to endless sources of rampant energy running amok.

Basically its like giving Jittery Jade a thoroughly researched personlized Ritalin or Adderall dose to follow daily and giving Hyperactive Crystal a hodge podge of natural stimulants like Focus Factor/Caffeine/Red Bull/diet pills to fabricate some focus with. Jittery Jade will probally have a better life mission statement worked out.Hyper Crystal will think about her mission statement every now and then .... but will probally spend most of her life trying to get her energy channeled properly using second hand OTC assistance.

Is the brain that cant reckon good, responsible for the day of reckoning or does G-d accept the recalls.

Prancing High Horses and Holy Horse Shit

So I recently received this small manila envelope from an anonymous sender.
Folded neatly inside was a sanctimoniously laced apology/forgiveness seeking message sprinkled liberally with bullshit/ biblical quotings & preachy directives ,typed tackily on fake floral stationary with the occasional big word .
Oh and a Chofetz Chaim lecture neatly tucked in.
Apparently, some individuals aka "caring classmate" from my religious high school have decided to do a
a mass appology/seek forgiveness mailing with a light unto the nation theme .
My thoughts :

A) Remove my name from your sanctimonious mailing list immediately.
1)You guys really dont change - contrary to your personal beliefs ,the world does not revolve around you and your holy projects and light unto the nation themes , please get off your religious high horses and clean up your own holy horse shit. I personally have long deleted any files associated with that despicable poor excuse for a high school, as such your names are not recognized in my current database of people I associate with/think about or forgive.
2) Typing tackily on fake floral stationary is not ok for this sort of mass mailing apology/forgiveness seeking project
3) Why are you sending me chofetz chaim lectures- clearly you should be listening to them yourself.
4) You guys still make me puke with your everpresent sanctimonious bullshit even after quite a few long years.

My suggestion to you and your droopy friends in sad states, stop suggesting what others should be doing, reading, listening to, who they should be forgiving and what they should be thinking about.
Start with yourselves, the first step is awareness - awareness that you are absolutley NOT G-ds gift to judaism. Even if you know way more navi than me and dress like nuns with no sense of fashion. Then start reciting the Iggeres Haramban every day and actually listen to
the message.
Oh and dont send me stuff ,ever. I clearly have no use for your personal updates or the preachy directives prancing out of your pious projects.To be precise, they are puke inducing. Just so you know.