Monday, November 20, 2006

Moldy Metaphors: A tribute to a Distinctly Toxic Educator of Years Gone Bye

This sequential thought process and related sidetracks is in honor of Principal H and her Moldy Metaphor for Goodbye and GoodLucking "Different flowers grow in Different soils" which is not quite the best metaphor to express your disinterest in educating the exotic tropical plants or the wayward wildflower student(s) in question...... Just so you know for future reference in case your still a principal somewhere and have some gardening concerns ..........
Hope your muddy soil suits you and may it continue to sully any other moldy metaphor related attempts at gardening students .Those cactus's you've managed to educate are quite the prickly group. Do they do anything else besides breed/prick/sting and breed some more ?
Basically , i've learnt If you find yourself in a figuretive garden comprised of Educators with moldy metaphors and general garden inhabitants consisting of prickly points/ petulant petals/ bleary eyed blossoms /spent brooding blooms/ fickle flowers and Sincerely Snobby Shrubs that are just ruining your growth patterns and blocking the sunlight, its best to move on and find yourself a new patch for basking in the sunlight. And just plant yourself a whole new patch of colorful/meaningful truly friendly flowers.
There is the not so subtle difference between living in "the proverbial rose garden that was never promised" and residing in a lovely unadulterated cactus patch (just dont fall in ,whatever you do ). Or endless stretches of grassy fields boasting boastful yet moldy weeds & allergen related properties, pretending to be smiling sunflowers but at one point or another they show their true dandelion colors .You can still make a wish though ......
Some religious schools dont even get that deep with the promises or the breeding which is ok if only the issue was the lack of "rose garden promise" ...... but sometimes its just busy focusing on the rules concerning "how to garden modestly like Ruth when she went harvesting" As long as youre fully clothed , it doesnt really matter what kind of flowers your goin to act like or cultivate and continue breeding or even marry.
Cactuses breed cactuses they do not have any disciplined / friendly/respectful flora related relatives.Weeds breed more disrespectufl weeds and the occasional disrespectful wildflower, no perfectly manicured rosebushes or well mannered chrysanthemums in sight.
And sometimes in high school , if your petals are not fully clothed, well then you might get served with moldy metaphors like "different flowers grow in different soils " along with a leave and do not return card.You may want to join up with the Naked Cowboy in Times Square since you've already slackened with that neckbone collar covering rule.You can use the tips to purchase your own roses .I would reccomend the David Austin brand.
No,some high schools never did get quite that far with breeding well mannered flowers and shrubbery or promising rose gardens or even just any sort of well mannered flowers. Just make sure your fully clothed and wash your husbands clothes and make him dinner so he can continue learning without being disturbed.Learning the ropes of religion in a prickly cactus patch rampant with dull dandelions /dim two leaf clover weeds and narrow minded crabgrass, makes you forget you ever wanted to be part of the garden of eden concept.
I think certain kiruv orgs and high schools should get together and produce and off broadway musical based on parts of Lynn Anderson's "Rose Garden Song" hyperfocusing on the "I Beg Your Pardon" part .... /Lessons from Pinnochio / The Pitfalls of Pollyana Persuading / Alice in Wonderland/Pippi Longstocking and Sponge Bob Square pants .
Anyway my rhetorical point - I just wish i knew who exactly am I suppposed to be emulating. How should I know where its best to belong.Why would I want to structure myself with religion related activites/Its so hard finding real people to respect ......Just some Adderall induced flashes of unadulterated focus/a perfect jumble of neuronal circuitry connecting /chemical balancing and brainwave action. And subsequent questions like why am I going and where and who exactly are my role models.........The answer might very well be starting a whole new colorful /friendly garden , preferably in far away friendly /exotic locations like Hawaii.
So when the high schools and kiruv orgs are done incorporating "derech eretz kadma latorah" they can move on to stuff "chanoch hanar al pi darcho " and then the skys the limit .....provided it doesnt rain/snow/sleet or hail .

3 comments:

Bitingly blooming said...

I've read this somewhere before...

Jaded Pink Crystal said...

Yeah, well ure one of the lucky three ..... I originally did this as a comeback for a lovely post on a related topic, unfortunatly even though I was assured " your definitely not banned" from that particular site..... coincidently though my comments were banned.Anyway something about my glitter sparkle outlook and general presentation ,
People seem to think my brainwaves are as colorful as this blog.And forget i have perfectly ok reasoning skills and stuff.

Anyway, Soooo I figured I would give my colorful comeback, produced and written at five fifteen am, a place for posterity purposes mostly and a picture it deserves one after all that rejection and stuff . And you dont really ever know maybe my old principal she might so very well happen to chance upon this colorful sequential thought process with sidetracks by googling "toxic educators" or "moldy metaphors" and then pressing "i'm feeling lucky"......

Boomingly brash said...

If that educator is reading blogs, Crystal, then we've really got a story!